[ yeah, he has that effect on people. he doesn't argue that it's not the best example, but he listens and seems to sort things out in his head in a way that makes sense to him.
without ryuki, there's no tama. but is there a ryuki without a tama to begin with, too? ]
...you were made for each other then, in a very literal sense. That's why you're always watching him. [ gods. ] This is just another reason we have to find a way for multiple teams to win.
He’s important to me. Not just because I’m meant to be his partner, but because he’s Ryuki, you know? I want to keep him safe, because he does the same for me.
[ … ] He’s a idiot who takes on too much and doesn’t accept help easily, but he deserves more than he gets from most people. And more than he lets himself have.
[ he isn't sure he's allowed to say he understands given tama just said it's not the best example, but he feels like he can understand that, at least. also. that sounds familiar. for reasons. weird.
so he nods to show he's listening, and he's quiet for a moment to draw up the appropriate words. ]
...all the more reason it's a good thing you have each other. So you can remind him of those things, and be around when he doesn't think about it. It makes sense. It's both a lucky and probably scary thing to have.
[ weird! i think the funniest thing anyone could do this game is kill tama/ryuki and will/nico and leave the surviving person to just lose it. also lowe for endgame. ]
If he listens. He’s pretty stubborn, although you wouldn’t think it from how easy he is to push around. [ she really just went from this man is my life to And he’s sooooo Bulliable in 0.5 seconds. ]
And… other things. Battling with yourself is pretty hard.
[ please let lowe live to an endgame, begging. anyway, shame is still vibing with tama and it means it gives nico a prime time to look away from her and pretend he's wandering around the pet shop so he doesn't have to acknowledge that he knows exactly what she's talking about. ]
The man gave me his jacket just because I complained about my pikachu costume. Stubborn isn't the word I'd think of, but you'd know better. [ heh. ] ...but, knowing you, you don't often let him fight that battle by himself. Do you?
[ please. let lowe live. i mean it would be cruel if someone blesses me with the graveyard and tama is just gone, honestly. but let lowe endgame. ]
He told me about that. You’ve not seen everything about him — when he’s determined to do something, he’ll pick himself up and keep going. [ that’s not always a good thing. ] But… everyone gets overwhelmed.
[ even then, she spent six years in his head watching him battle with himself and refusing to let himself stop, just because he felt he didn’t deserve it. like a relief and a fear all at once. like he’s going to just push himself too far one day and she won’t be able to stop him — either because she’s trapped in her AI form, or because it happens here and she can’t be there all the time. ]
I don’t have a choice here. That’s been a pain to adjust to.
[ stop don't fucking kill tama. he seems surprised that ryuki said anything, but also not because it would probably have to be explained because he figures tama probably noticed and asked. he is starting to pick up the sense that tama pays very close attention to ryuki, especially here. ]
Of course everyone gets overwhelmed. That's nature. [ he's about to say human nature but. you know. ] It's different here when you can't always see or understand the things that are happening to the people you've spent so much time looking after. And that kind of adds to the overwhelming nature of it all because you never know if someone's going to push themselves too far in an attempt to keep moving when we are having our hands kind of forced.
[ it’s been over two years, ty. the irony is he did tell her because she was like if you hate this kigu so much why are you in it and he was like well ]
Something like that. Among other things, but none of that’s mine to talk about.
doubly fair, actually, and he raises an eyebrow like "point taken." ]
Sure, understandable. But you get that this applies to you as well, don't you? [ nico: a strong believer in "literally can someone also take care of the caretaker." ]
It’s kinda difficult getting used to feeling and experience everything in the same way people usually do. The air tickled for the first week? My feet still hurt?
Yeah, breathing's weird. [ don't just. say that. but he does look down to see what kind of shoes she's wearing. ] I think that still kind of counts as culture shock. It's just that the culture in this case is being bound to a flesh and bone prison.
Yeah, that’s why I passed out that first Sunday — I forgot you have to sleep? I normally just watch youtube and mess up Ryuki’s algorithm while he’s sleeping.
[ don’t just do that. ] And then the breathing thing! You only remember when you’re getting dizzy? It’s weird?
[ the way i forced myself to go to bed instead of tagging you back and thought about this forever. ]
Yeah. Supposedly it's to rest both your body and your brain but you can, technically, go long periods without rest and still keep going. Having to shut down for a minimum of four hours a night shouldn't be a requirement. And breathing is so subconscious that you don't even know you're doing it half the time until you can't breathe and your body's like "hey by the way, oxygen's great."
[ a pause. ]
Then again a lot of people in the Underworld have to do neither of those things so it's conflicting messages all around.
Yeah, it's like -- these things are so fragile but also like some kind of terminator? Three weeks with no food, three days with no water, which is impressive seeing as that's like 70% of a body. And yeah, you're just minding your own business and then you remember breathing's a thing you're doing and you forget how to do it??
[ awful! ]
I guess if you've been surrounded by people who have left the need to do all that behind, it's a culture shock when you suddenly realise you have to crack on with all that.
I know. [ this is just kind of distressed, baffled hissing. ] ...I mean I don't even know if I can judge because we're more durable than regular mortals to begin with but still. Even an average person can withstand a lot of damage in so many ways but then quickly be eliminated by something as stupid as forgetting to inhale once in a while.
[ it's hard to say if he really feels this way or he's exaggerating. maybe both. ]
A lot of us can do things like breathe underwater or withstand extreme temperatures or...[ hm. no. ] Things like that. It's bizarre to thing about how I don't know if those apply here either.
[ it is rude! he looks like he thinks it's rude. ]
Did you actually ask? What was his excuse to say no? [ but he sighs. ] Since all of my powers are a part of my genetics I can only guess that everything's gone. I was just hoping they left even a small part.
[ drops our sunday thread bc that's a good resting place and focuses over here. ]
What if you offered him one in exchange? Then you can tell him why he's so much better at it and get him to constantly give you rides. [ that's not how that works. ]
I've been asking. There's stuff I want back that I think could help us, but Tiger said they can't even get their own stuff back. I don't know if it's impossible or a way just hasn't been found yet.
Ryuki? [ he has no reason to sound dubious when nico's a skinny malnourished twig who can still pull his own weight. ]
So much of this is going to be on our own now, I think. As much as I knew it would be and as much as I hate it. But even an idea of where to start would be better than what we have now.
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without ryuki, there's no tama. but is there a ryuki without a tama to begin with, too? ]
...you were made for each other then, in a very literal sense. That's why you're always watching him. [ gods. ] This is just another reason we have to find a way for multiple teams to win.
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[ … ] He’s a idiot who takes on too much and doesn’t accept help easily, but he deserves more than he gets from most people. And more than he lets himself have.
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so he nods to show he's listening, and he's quiet for a moment to draw up the appropriate words. ]
...all the more reason it's a good thing you have each other. So you can remind him of those things, and be around when he doesn't think about it. It makes sense. It's both a lucky and probably scary thing to have.
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If he listens. He’s pretty stubborn, although you wouldn’t think it from how easy he is to push around. [ she really just went from this man is my life to And he’s sooooo Bulliable in 0.5 seconds. ]
And… other things. Battling with yourself is pretty hard.
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The man gave me his jacket just because I complained about my pikachu costume. Stubborn isn't the word I'd think of, but you'd know better. [ heh. ] ...but, knowing you, you don't often let him fight that battle by himself. Do you?
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He told me about that. You’ve not seen everything about him — when he’s determined to do something, he’ll pick himself up and keep going. [ that’s not always a good thing. ] But… everyone gets overwhelmed.
[ even then, she spent six years in his head watching him battle with himself and refusing to let himself stop, just because he felt he didn’t deserve it. like a relief and a fear all at once. like he’s going to just push himself too far one day and she won’t be able to stop him — either because she’s trapped in her AI form, or because it happens here and she can’t be there all the time. ]
I don’t have a choice here. That’s been a pain to adjust to.
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Of course everyone gets overwhelmed. That's nature. [ he's about to say human nature but. you know. ] It's different here when you can't always see or understand the things that are happening to the people you've spent so much time looking after. And that kind of adds to the overwhelming nature of it all because you never know if someone's going to push themselves too far in an attempt to keep moving when we are having our hands kind of forced.
[ hm. ]
Something like that?
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Something like that. Among other things, but none of that’s mine to talk about.
[ tama: adhering to HIPPA like a boss. ]
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doubly fair, actually, and he raises an eyebrow like "point taken." ]
Sure, understandable. But you get that this applies to you as well, don't you? [ nico: a strong believer in "literally can someone also take care of the caretaker." ]
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Not so much back home, but— it’s not too bad taking care of myself like this.
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You've been getting used to it then? [ this is more out of curiosity than anything, considering. ]
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Ha. Good question.
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he turns to lean back against a shelf and stare at her. ]
Is that "I have no idea how to answer" or "I don't want to answer so I'm going to be vague until the other person drops it"?
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[ it’s the worst. ]
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[ again. don't just say things. ]
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Yeah, that’s why I passed out that first Sunday — I forgot you have to sleep? I normally just watch youtube and mess up Ryuki’s algorithm while he’s sleeping.
[ don’t just do that. ] And then the breathing thing! You only remember when you’re getting dizzy? It’s weird?
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Yeah. Supposedly it's to rest both your body and your brain but you can, technically, go long periods without rest and still keep going. Having to shut down for a minimum of four hours a night shouldn't be a requirement. And breathing is so subconscious that you don't even know you're doing it half the time until you can't breathe and your body's like "hey by the way, oxygen's great."
[ a pause. ]
Then again a lot of people in the Underworld have to do neither of those things so it's conflicting messages all around.
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Yeah, it's like -- these things are so fragile but also like some kind of terminator? Three weeks with no food, three days with no water, which is impressive seeing as that's like 70% of a body. And yeah, you're just minding your own business and then you remember breathing's a thing you're doing and you forget how to do it??
[ awful! ]
I guess if you've been surrounded by people who have left the need to do all that behind, it's a culture shock when you suddenly realise you have to crack on with all that.
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[ it's hard to say if he really feels this way or he's exaggerating. maybe both. ]
A lot of us can do things like breathe underwater or withstand extreme temperatures or...[ hm. no. ] Things like that. It's bizarre to thing about how I don't know if those apply here either.
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[ it’s so rude. ]
Maybe assume they don’t? They were able to entirely change what I am. I’m pretty sure they can get rid of special natural abilities.
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Did you actually ask? What was his excuse to say no? [ but he sighs. ] Since all of my powers are a part of my genetics I can only guess that everything's gone. I was just hoping they left even a small part.
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[ she adores this man. thinks of that “i hate that look he gets in his eyes when he’s ignoring me” line ]
I wonder if there’s a way to get some of it back? Or is it just evening the playing field for everyone?
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What if you offered him one in exchange? Then you can tell him why he's so much better at it and get him to constantly give you rides. [ that's not how that works. ]
I've been asking. There's stuff I want back that I think could help us, but Tiger said they can't even get their own stuff back. I don't know if it's impossible or a way just hasn't been found yet.
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No... he seems like he'd be heavy. Like those guys who look reedy but can bench press, y'know?
[ i hear ryuki is ripped. i hear he has an eight pack. ]
I guess that's something we should look into on our own, then...
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So much of this is going to be on our own now, I think. As much as I knew it would be and as much as I hate it. But even an idea of where to start would be better than what we have now.
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