[she shifts a little, settling so she can rest her head against his shoulder, hands tucked up under her chin.]
I think you've mentioned Hazel before. [she's vaguely unsure on if she's his sister or not. she's also not sure entirely why he's telling her all this but it doesn't make her any less interested to just. hear more about him. all the little things.]
[ she's still little so she can still hang out and he'll hold onto her. ]
Yeah. She's my sister. I...didn't know she existed until I went down there to try and find Bianca. Hazel was just waiting around in Asphodel, and...I could feel that she didn't belong there. And with the Doors of Death being wide open, I just brought her out with me, and Hades never made her go back. Her father's Pluto though, the Roman form of Hades. The two versions have differences based on the beliefs of the people and everything.
[ ...as for why he's bringing it up. ]
...anyway, my point was...when I first ran away from camp it's because I had nowhere for everything I was feeling to go. After she died and I was left alone, and after Percy broke his promise when I'd trusted him, I couldn't figure out how to deal with what I was feeling. I was so angry I really did want him dead. He'd let Bianca die, so what did it matter? But I still...cared about him a lot, so then I started being mad at myself for still caring and for thinking I could trust him, and mad at Bianca for just letting this happen, and mad at the world for giving me all of the problems I'd never asked for when all I wanted to do was figure out how to survive. It took about four and a half years or so to really make peace with some things. And there were others I didn't even make peace with until...uh. Like right before I got here.
So I guess my point is...nobody's expecting you to know where to go with a situation like this right away. I just don't want you to pick a course of action and go with it just because it's the first thing that feels right.
I don't think it's the same for me. [she says, finally, honestly.] I get what you're telling me, though.
[she's glad, she thinks, that he can sit back and reflect and decide that maybe he can get past it, but she genuinely thinks she isn't like that. nico is good - he's a good person who reaches out for the weirdos and the unwanted people, and she loves him for that, because she can't make herself unlearn a thousand years of protecting herself.
[ he gently grabs her hand to redirect it. no. no picking. ]
That's fine. I guess I just...[ ...he pauses again to think. ] Maybe I also just felt like you should know those things. [ to understand him a little better and why he is conflicted, he thinks. ] But you don't have to think the same way I do. You're you and I'm me and that's just why we work. I'm gonna back you up no matter how you feel.
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no subject
I think you've mentioned Hazel before. [she's vaguely unsure on if she's his sister or not. she's also not sure entirely why he's telling her all this but it doesn't make her any less interested to just. hear more about him. all the little things.]
no subject
Yeah. She's my sister. I...didn't know she existed until I went down there to try and find Bianca. Hazel was just waiting around in Asphodel, and...I could feel that she didn't belong there. And with the Doors of Death being wide open, I just brought her out with me, and Hades never made her go back. Her father's Pluto though, the Roman form of Hades. The two versions have differences based on the beliefs of the people and everything.
[ ...as for why he's bringing it up. ]
...anyway, my point was...when I first ran away from camp it's because I had nowhere for everything I was feeling to go. After she died and I was left alone, and after Percy broke his promise when I'd trusted him, I couldn't figure out how to deal with what I was feeling. I was so angry I really did want him dead. He'd let Bianca die, so what did it matter? But I still...cared about him a lot, so then I started being mad at myself for still caring and for thinking I could trust him, and mad at Bianca for just letting this happen, and mad at the world for giving me all of the problems I'd never asked for when all I wanted to do was figure out how to survive. It took about four and a half years or so to really make peace with some things. And there were others I didn't even make peace with until...uh. Like right before I got here.
So I guess my point is...nobody's expecting you to know where to go with a situation like this right away. I just don't want you to pick a course of action and go with it just because it's the first thing that feels right.
no subject
I don't think it's the same for me. [she says, finally, honestly.] I get what you're telling me, though.
[she's glad, she thinks, that he can sit back and reflect and decide that maybe he can get past it, but she genuinely thinks she isn't like that. nico is good - he's a good person who reaches out for the weirdos and the unwanted people, and she loves him for that, because she can't make herself unlearn a thousand years of protecting herself.
she picks at a scar on her chest, absently.]
no subject
That's fine. I guess I just...[ ...he pauses again to think. ] Maybe I also just felt like you should know those things. [ to understand him a little better and why he is conflicted, he thinks. ] But you don't have to think the same way I do. You're you and I'm me and that's just why we work. I'm gonna back you up no matter how you feel.