[she says, insistently. she doesn't want him to worry about her. she's just - last tiger standing makes her feel like she's going to explode, a little. but it won't be for long. she doesn't want to think about the last thing she said to him, so she just will not.]
You don't have to lie to me if you're not. It's okay. [ not that she's lying, but he's just throwing that out there while he's leaning his chin on her hair. ]
[ oh. wild. he does at least pause in his admonishing for a moment, but his response is actually to hold her a little tighter as he thinks of what to say. ]
...I told you before I can multitask. I can care about multiple things, and just because...I'll take care of Will. I'm going to go back to him later because he needs me. But that doesn't change that I'm right here and... [ "i think you need me, too, even if you can't say it." ]
[well, he's not wrong, but. it's complicated. she's mad and she doesn't have anywhere for it to go, and she really doesn't want to take it out on nico. she knows this was the best choice. and she has suspicions, but she's not voicing them.]
You and Will both never take care of yourselves. You just take everything on your shoulders and you don't have anybody to look out for you because Danny killed Reigen and let Ace get fucked over.
You can care but if I have to watch you sweep how fucked up you feel under the rug to deal with my stupid shit one more time I'm going to sail into the sea and not come back.
[ the thing is she's not wrong either, but his expression is pretty quick to cloud over anyway. to his credit, despite the way he wants to, he doesn't interrupt her and waits until she's actually done talking.]
Will and I have each other. [ which is very much not the same as having an actual adult or someone to look up to helping them, and he knows it, but. ] I'm not sweeping anything under the rug. Okay? I have nothing to sweep right now because I think just about everybody's gonna know how much of a problem I have with this entire outcome in less than 24 hours.
[hmmmmmm wrong answer!!! she doesn't like that answer!!! she is a thousand years old she knows having two teenagers be the only supports for each other is bad!!!
more smoke comes out of her mouth.]
I don't believe you. [about the rug sweeping. because she's watched him do it a few times, with reigen, with ace, with lillium, with danny. maybe he got it out somewhere else, but she doesn't know.]
You're gonna get sick of m-- it eventually, so don't bullshit me.
her tail flicks in annoyance, and there's smoke curling out from under her jacket now, but she doesn't say what instinct wants her to say because she knows he'll get mad. madder.]
[ well. all of his anger kind of fizzles out piece by piece, bit by bit, and his shoulders sag and his mouth turns down into another frown as he looks at her. ]
...can I ask why you think you aren't already doing that?
[ his response is entirely inappropriate since he just. snorts in amusement. tired amusement, but amusement nevertheless. ]
You're dumb. [ lightly, but he's saying this into her hair. ] Nimona, I...don't always know what it looks like to actually let people help. But I can at least say that helping you and talking to you about all of this stuff does help me kind of figure things out. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense, but...it's really hard for me to ask still. So I don't. But I also don't let people close like this if they aren't doing something that makes me feel better in their own way.
this doesn't make her feel entirely better, but. she feels a little less sucky.
she just pushes ace's hat back so it's resting on her back, and turns to hug him full on, burying her face in his hoodie. this means he can't see her twelve eyes so it's a win-win.]
I'm older than you. I should be good at solving my own problems. [grumbles.]
[ it's fine he's bringing the other arm out of his pocket to hug her back. the fact that they're still outside of goat's dorm is super funny actually, ace would be proud maybe. he also doesn't mind the burrowing. ]
Shut up. [ lmao. ] My dad's, like, way older than you are and still can't figure out how to solve his problems either. Age doesn't mean anything. [ ... ] I like that I can help. It makes me feel better about not knowing how to not be so...dependent, I guess.
[ which is a choice of a word considering who he is. ]
[ it's okay. he will simply hold onto her while he can. ]
It's true. I'm a lot more dependent than you know, thanks. [ he says it like he's teasing but it's a very serious thing. ] I try not to make it obvious, but these days it's a little harder to pretend that the 50% stability thing fluctuates a lot.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[she says, insistently. she doesn't want him to worry about her. she's just - last tiger standing makes her feel like she's going to explode, a little. but it won't be for long. she doesn't want to think about the last thing she said to him, so she just will not.]
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I don't want you to worry about me. You have bigger things.
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Nico. [she says back, all stiff.]
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...I told you before I can multitask. I can care about multiple things, and just because...I'll take care of Will. I'm going to go back to him later because he needs me. But that doesn't change that I'm right here and... [ "i think you need me, too, even if you can't say it." ]
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You and Will both never take care of yourselves. You just take everything on your shoulders and you don't have anybody to look out for you because Danny killed Reigen and let Ace get fucked over.
You can care but if I have to watch you sweep how fucked up you feel under the rug to deal with my stupid shit one more time I'm going to sail into the sea and not come back.
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Will and I have each other. [ which is very much not the same as having an actual adult or someone to look up to helping them, and he knows it, but. ] I'm not sweeping anything under the rug. Okay? I have nothing to sweep right now because I think just about everybody's gonna know how much of a problem I have with this entire outcome in less than 24 hours.
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more smoke comes out of her mouth.]
I don't believe you. [about the rug sweeping. because she's watched him do it a few times, with reigen, with ace, with lillium, with danny. maybe he got it out somewhere else, but she doesn't know.]
You're gonna get sick of m-- it eventually, so don't bullshit me.
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Don't you dare insinuate I'm going to get sick of you. [ he heard that aborted word. ]
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her tail flicks in annoyance, and there's smoke curling out from under her jacket now, but she doesn't say what instinct wants her to say because she knows he'll get mad. madder.]
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I mean it. Do not put words into my mouth.
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silence for another couple of seconds, and then:]
... I just want to help you like you've helped me.
[that's all.]
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...can I ask why you think you aren't already doing that?
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I don't know what it looks like. [helping people. she doesn't know if she's doing it right because she never really has had a reason to before.
helping before this was kidnapping a guy and doing a smear campaign on the internet, she doesn't know how to do emotions.]
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You're dumb. [ lightly, but he's saying this into her hair. ] Nimona, I...don't always know what it looks like to actually let people help. But I can at least say that helping you and talking to you about all of this stuff does help me kind of figure things out. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense, but...it's really hard for me to ask still. So I don't. But I also don't let people close like this if they aren't doing something that makes me feel better in their own way.
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this doesn't make her feel entirely better, but. she feels a little less sucky.
she just pushes ace's hat back so it's resting on her back, and turns to hug him full on, burying her face in his hoodie. this means he can't see her twelve eyes so it's a win-win.]
I'm older than you. I should be good at solving my own problems. [grumbles.]
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Shut up. [ lmao. ] My dad's, like, way older than you are and still can't figure out how to solve his problems either. Age doesn't mean anything. [ ... ] I like that I can help. It makes me feel better about not knowing how to not be so...dependent, I guess.
[ which is a choice of a word considering who he is. ]
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anyway she curls up into the hug.]
Dependent, he says. [she mutters, smoke rising off of her.] You shut up.
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It's true. I'm a lot more dependent than you know, thanks. [ he says it like he's teasing but it's a very serious thing. ] I try not to make it obvious, but these days it's a little harder to pretend that the 50% stability thing fluctuates a lot.
[ on his profile, he means. ]