[ it's not hard to reverse engineer his brain to dig deep into the recesses of his mind for things that used to comfort him as a child. so he continues long after she's asleep, and even when she wakes up he's shifting her in his arms to hold her tighter. ]
Shh. It's okay... [ he doesn't entirely get that she's asking about him, more concerned with her and the mental strain that this week has been putting on her between the memshare, the adventure she went on, what happened with ace on that adventure, losing reigen, and now this. he's letting a hand gently pet through her hair again and he's leaning against the wall on the floor to balance them. ] Everything's going to be okay.
[ somehow. but if he even begins to flirt with the alternative he will absolutely fall apart and he can't do that with her right now. ]
[she feels like absolute garbage. her head is pounding and she hasn't eaten anything in hours, her eyes hurt, she's still tired, her nose hurts. her body hurts. she can barely focus, and it's hard not to give in to the urge to just let the feral instincts kick in. if she wasn't so wiped out, she'd run and run and never come back.
it's okay, he says, it's all going to be okay, and she doesn't know. she really doesn't know if that's true.]
Mmngh. [she tries, which is not words. she shifts, wrapping her arms around his neck.] You're okay.
[soothing. even though she knows he isn't, and she isn't either.]
[ he's glad she isn't running. maybe it's selfish to be happy she's too drained to leave, but he thinks it's better for her to be here right now. so he's letting her move a little and wrap her arms around his neck, turning his head to kiss her hair.
he knows what she's doing. neither of them are okay for multiple reasons right now, but he offers a small smile. ]
...you and I are going to have to look out for each other to find a way to fix everything. [ they can't just leave things like this. ] We're okay. We'll make it better.
Okay. [she says, quietly, petting at him absently. his hair, his arm. whatever she can reach. right now, it feels impossible. right now it feels like - no. no, they won't make it better, they won't find a way to fix everything.
she hiccups.]
Okay. [it's all she can manage, closing her eyes again.]
[ like. yeah, he also thinks maybe it feels impossible. he knows what they're up against and what they have to do. but if he says so now, it means more people will suffer and struggle to keep going and...he can't be a part of that problem. he wants to be a solution.
she hiccups and a hand soothes over her back as he makes both of them more comfortable. his demon is curled up at his hip and he keeps nimona more or less cradled to himself as he lets her close her eyes again. ]
Just take it easy. [ there's a pause. ] Water when you can. I grabbed a bottle for later.
[ because?? they have all been crying so much?? hydration is key to feeling a little less like garbage. ]
[she like - she wants to talk about it, almost, she wants to try and say something about ace. about reigen. she knows nico would understand - she knows nico knows that this is such a heavy blow, that losing two people she really, really cares about all at once is like drenching her in that same shadow that overwhelmed her during her adventure. she knows he feels the same way, and that he's trying to help her anyway.
for the first time in a really long time, she feels almost guilty. it's odd. it's strange, to feel so devastated and run through. to know that someone she cares about is suffering and still doing his best to be a safe haven for her makes her heart ache.
maybe she should try. she should try harder. she sucks in a shivery breath, eyes still closed because it's unfathomable how much her head hurts. he tells her to drink water and she should say okay, yeah, I will, but instead she just warbles out:]
I love you, Nico. [like a brother, like family, like something she's never had before.]
[ this is true. he knows what a heavy blow this is for her, and he knows she's so tempted just to drown in her misery again because it feels safer while at the same time it's much harder to resist. when you're a being of darkness that suffers, you learn to lean harder into what you know.
and maybe that's exactly why he's trying so hard to be safe for her, the same other people have been safe for him. she needs it just as badly as he does sometimes, and it's like he'd said some time ago. she shouldn't have to take care of everything by herself.
so he hears that and he blinks a little in surprise. ]
I love you, too. [ quietly, and without hesitation because he knows what she means by it and how much it means for her to actually say it. his hold on her tightens just a little. not enough to hurt, but secure her. ] We'll stay together, okay?
[ because they're both losing people they love deeply, and there's no changing that. there's only company in misery. ]
[I love you, too makes it a little easier for her to want to try.]
Together. [she mumbles, with a harsh, shuddery exhale. together, not alone. she doesn't have to save herself. she can let someone else help catch her.]
[ exactly. as long as she can let herself believe that (as long as she trusts him to be there to catch her, because the other people who would be there are gone, because they have to try and find a way to save them now after they saved the two of them), he can and will be there for her. ]
I've got you. [ it's really just to reiterate the point. he's come to find that in times of crisis and panic like this, repeating the sentiment kind of helps? like something that can be a focal point while drifting aimlessly in the dark, miserable feelings. ] We'll stay here as long as you want, and then I can take you back to the penthouse.
[ even if he thinks she isn't going to want to leave, which. fair. reuses the same icon again because it's just the vibe. ]
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she wakes up a little later, blearily, because she was crying in her sleep and it woke her up, and just kind of croaks:] Nico.
[are you okay? are you going to make it? she doesn't feel like either one of them are going to make it.]
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Shh. It's okay... [ he doesn't entirely get that she's asking about him, more concerned with her and the mental strain that this week has been putting on her between the memshare, the adventure she went on, what happened with ace on that adventure, losing reigen, and now this. he's letting a hand gently pet through her hair again and he's leaning against the wall on the floor to balance them. ] Everything's going to be okay.
[ somehow. but if he even begins to flirt with the alternative he will absolutely fall apart and he can't do that with her right now. ]
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it's okay, he says, it's all going to be okay, and she doesn't know. she really doesn't know if that's true.]
Mmngh. [she tries, which is not words. she shifts, wrapping her arms around his neck.] You're okay.
[soothing. even though she knows he isn't, and she isn't either.]
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he knows what she's doing. neither of them are okay for multiple reasons right now, but he offers a small smile. ]
...you and I are going to have to look out for each other to find a way to fix everything. [ they can't just leave things like this. ] We're okay. We'll make it better.
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she hiccups.]
Okay. [it's all she can manage, closing her eyes again.]
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she hiccups and a hand soothes over her back as he makes both of them more comfortable. his demon is curled up at his hip and he keeps nimona more or less cradled to himself as he lets her close her eyes again. ]
Just take it easy. [ there's a pause. ] Water when you can. I grabbed a bottle for later.
[ because?? they have all been crying so much?? hydration is key to feeling a little less like garbage. ]
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for the first time in a really long time, she feels almost guilty. it's odd. it's strange, to feel so devastated and run through. to know that someone she cares about is suffering and still doing his best to be a safe haven for her makes her heart ache.
maybe she should try. she should try harder. she sucks in a shivery breath, eyes still closed because it's unfathomable how much her head hurts. he tells her to drink water and she should say okay, yeah, I will, but instead she just warbles out:]
I love you, Nico. [like a brother, like family, like something she's never had before.]
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and maybe that's exactly why he's trying so hard to be safe for her, the same other people have been safe for him. she needs it just as badly as he does sometimes, and it's like he'd said some time ago. she shouldn't have to take care of everything by herself.
so he hears that and he blinks a little in surprise. ]
I love you, too. [ quietly, and without hesitation because he knows what she means by it and how much it means for her to actually say it. his hold on her tightens just a little. not enough to hurt, but secure her. ] We'll stay together, okay?
[ because they're both losing people they love deeply, and there's no changing that. there's only company in misery. ]
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Together. [she mumbles, with a harsh, shuddery exhale. together, not alone. she doesn't have to save herself. she can let someone else help catch her.]
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I've got you. [ it's really just to reiterate the point. he's come to find that in times of crisis and panic like this, repeating the sentiment kind of helps? like something that can be a focal point while drifting aimlessly in the dark, miserable feelings. ] We'll stay here as long as you want, and then I can take you back to the penthouse.
[ even if he thinks she isn't going to want to leave, which. fair. reuses the same icon again because it's just the vibe. ]