[ she doesn't pry and he doesn't acknowledge it, thinking more about what she's saying. ]
I don't see why we can't do both? Like a safety net. If one doesn't go through, then at least the other might, and they'll get our messages. [ his hand is wrapped around the sabogotchi in his pocket. ]
...I know you're not. I just meant in general. [ in that she never would have a reason to apologize to him, curse or not. but he doesn't really feel like arguing about it and instead turns to look at the waves instead, hands in his pockets and eyes forward.
whatever. he can't fault her for being frustrated. ]
[she is very frustrated with all of the little things that make her dumb private thoughts public. things she doesn't even really believe seriously or are just intrusive things that she'd never say, out there.]
... I wish I knew more about his favorite stuff. [i miss him.] Maybe we can do a bonfire on the beach.
You and me both. It's like...I knew a lot about Ace, but at the same time not that kind of stuff. But I think he always just liked the stuff we did together because he wanted to be with us. So maybe...stuff that reminds us of him specifically. Even if it's not his favorite, it's about him. [ reigen too, but maybe that's a separate thing. they deserve to be honored separately. ]
We could maybe build like a raft. Ask Hung for some leftover wood from the roof memorial and put it together. But the bonfire on the beach sounds like a good idea.
[there's something about he always just liked the stuff we did together because he wanted to be with us that makes her heart twist and a little bit of heat curl up behind her eyes but she ignores it. she blinks a few times to get rid of it, and then shoves her hands in her pockets.]
I kind of just want to - like, you know how I told you about the ocean and how the stars look? Like how Ace said. I wanted to do that.
[... and for reigen:] I thought about putting up advertisements for the world's greatest psychic or something. Just - some bullshit so he knows we're thinking about him.
I put up those wanted signs for Ace a few weeks ago and I think it made him happy.
I think I have an idea. We're gonna have to go to a few stores, but it's worth a try. We can make something pretty cool for him. Plus then we can stop by the internet cafe or the library and print out a bunch of flyers to put places. Design something easy to read and everything.
Maybe we can get the rest of us left - I wanted to make a mural, with all of us. Me, you, Will, Datz, Hung and Rita, of all the animals from our charms. And I wanted you guys to help me paint it.
[datz said something when reigen died - that he'd be alive as long as people remembered who he was, and nimona intends to make that a reality.]
...pick a wall and we'll be there. I think that's a good idea. Like...something more permanent. There's always pictures, but murals are bigger and better.
[ he does not say that in a mural you can also add the things that're missing from photos. ]
We're not going to forget them. And we're not letting anyone else forget either. Hung started building the base for the memorial at the cafe, I was helping him earlier. We're going to make sure everyone's remembered.
[ she adjusts her hat and he sort of drapes over her, hooking his chin over her shoulder for a point of contact. ]
Even if it doesn't it's whatever. We know it'll wear off eventually and if it's too bad tomorrow still we'll fix it. [ i'm kind of glad you're annoyed. it means you can still feel things. ]
[ he has at least figured out she likes the weighted blanket effect, so he stays here. ]
...it's kind of annoying that you have to keep a promise when sometimes it's really tempting to just lay down and never get up, huh? [ idly. he doesn't entirely mean it except for the parts that he does. ]
[ ...well. he can't exactly judge her for that when he came incredibly close to texting tama that they should all just kill themselves and get it over with, so he tightens his hold just slightly when she leans back into him. ]
...while I understand exactly why, I'm glad you didn't. [ quietly said. ] I don't know if I could've gone through with that even knowing it's what you would've wanted. [ ...and more to the point. ] I'm not going anywhere.
I know. [she'd thought about it a lot, in the early hours of sunday morning, before the dawn broke. she'd thought about it down to the letter, what she'd do, how she'd do it, and then she'd opened her eyes and nico had been there, and the rest of them too, their little smashed together family of misfits in jail all night for a second time in a row, and thought - i can't do that to them.
it would've been just like ace. it would've been her not even hiding it a little, and everybody desperately trying to find another answer. and maybe failing, and watching someone shove a sword through her heart. she couldn't do it. as much as she hurts, she couldn't sit in a jail cell with them crying because she'd given up.
she knows that they love her enough that that's how it'd be. so she didn't. and nico probably knows that, because her thoughts give a sense of this, a phantom of her waking up and looking at her friends and thinking she couldn't hurt them.]
[ in a way this is exactly why he's so proud of her, for coming this far, for realizing how much they love her. it isn't easy after years and years of mistreatment and isolation and not having people try to understand. it's...something he'd sort of talked about with ace, too, and it's something nico understands in ways he kind of wishes nimona didn't understand.
but then again he has to always remember she's older than he is. she's lived through these things much longer than he has.
so he squeezes her shoulders gently in gratitude. maybe just to hold on, too. ]
The only place we're gonna go is home. Together. Wherever home might be for us at the end of everything. [ they still have friends to save and worlds to figure out. they can't quit just yet. ]
[it just feels nice. it feels nice in that way where you're not sure if you should be allowed to have this sort of nice thing. she's standing on a beach with someone she met just a couple of weeks ago, and he loves her and she loves him, and it's easy, and sometimes she thinks that it shouldn't be.
but maybe it's just that she's never had the right people.]
Yeah. [...] I don't know how I'm gonna pick. I mean, I'm not going to go back to my world, obviously.
[ace never invited her to his, but she knows that's because he knew he was dead, and he didn't want to break a promise. not that this matters because she also knows that both her and and nico aren't going to let him just be dead.]
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... Yeah. I wanna do that anyway. [...] Me and Saya kinda put together a letter to the Dear Addy thing. But I wanna do your idea.
[absently holds onto the strings on her hat.]
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I don't see why we can't do both? Like a safety net. If one doesn't go through, then at least the other might, and they'll get our messages. [ his hand is wrapped around the sabogotchi in his pocket. ]
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Sure, okay. [...] Sorry I made you come check on me.
[she makes a nyeh face.]
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What are you apologizing for? I would've no matter what. I was going to come find you anyway. You just made it easier.
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I'm not doing it on purpose! [screams internally] Ugh.
[she adjusts her hat, and looks out at the waves, arms folded.]
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...I know you're not. I just meant in general. [ in that she never would have a reason to apologize to him, curse or not. but he doesn't really feel like arguing about it and instead turns to look at the waves instead, hands in his pockets and eyes forward.
whatever. he can't fault her for being frustrated. ]
A bonfire. Probably some meat with the letters.
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... I wish I knew more about his favorite stuff. [i miss him.] Maybe we can do a bonfire on the beach.
Do you think we could build a boat?
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We could maybe build like a raft. Ask Hung for some leftover wood from the roof memorial and put it together. But the bonfire on the beach sounds like a good idea.
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I kind of just want to - like, you know how I told you about the ocean and how the stars look? Like how Ace said. I wanted to do that.
[... and for reigen:] I thought about putting up advertisements for the world's greatest psychic or something. Just - some bullshit so he knows we're thinking about him.
I put up those wanted signs for Ace a few weeks ago and I think it made him happy.
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I think I have an idea. We're gonna have to go to a few stores, but it's worth a try. We can make something pretty cool for him. Plus then we can stop by the internet cafe or the library and print out a bunch of flyers to put places. Design something easy to read and everything.
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Maybe we can get the rest of us left - I wanted to make a mural, with all of us. Me, you, Will, Datz, Hung and Rita, of all the animals from our charms. And I wanted you guys to help me paint it.
[datz said something when reigen died - that he'd be alive as long as people remembered who he was, and nimona intends to make that a reality.]
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...pick a wall and we'll be there. I think that's a good idea. Like...something more permanent. There's always pictures, but murals are bigger and better.
[ he does not say that in a mural you can also add the things that're missing from photos. ]
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[she's so old, and she's known so many people, but nobody has ever been as important as their little team of jailbreakers.]
We can figure out a good time to do it.
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What about tomorrow? Seems like a safe day.
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Tomorrow works, yeah. Sorry I got cursed. [ughhhh] Maybe this will have worn off.
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Even if it doesn't it's whatever. We know it'll wear off eventually and if it's too bad tomorrow still we'll fix it. [ i'm kind of glad you're annoyed. it means you can still feel things. ]
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she's quiet for a moment, staring out at the waves, and then, even though she knows she's not supposed to reply to thoughts:] ... I promised I'd try.
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...it's kind of annoying that you have to keep a promise when sometimes it's really tempting to just lay down and never get up, huh? [ idly. he doesn't entirely mean it except for the parts that he does. ]
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Ugh. [GRUMBLES.] ... Can I tell you something?
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I don't think I would've if you hadn't been there. [...] I think I would've killed someone and let you all vote for me.
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...while I understand exactly why, I'm glad you didn't. [ quietly said. ] I don't know if I could've gone through with that even knowing it's what you would've wanted. [ ...and more to the point. ] I'm not going anywhere.
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it would've been just like ace. it would've been her not even hiding it a little, and everybody desperately trying to find another answer. and maybe failing, and watching someone shove a sword through her heart. she couldn't do it. as much as she hurts, she couldn't sit in a jail cell with them crying because she'd given up.
she knows that they love her enough that that's how it'd be. so she didn't. and nico probably knows that, because her thoughts give a sense of this, a phantom of her waking up and looking at her friends and thinking she couldn't hurt them.]
I'm not going anywhere either. [she sighs out.]
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but then again he has to always remember she's older than he is. she's lived through these things much longer than he has.
so he squeezes her shoulders gently in gratitude. maybe just to hold on, too. ]
The only place we're gonna go is home. Together. Wherever home might be for us at the end of everything. [ they still have friends to save and worlds to figure out. they can't quit just yet. ]
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but maybe it's just that she's never had the right people.]
Yeah. [...] I don't know how I'm gonna pick. I mean, I'm not going to go back to my world, obviously.
[ace never invited her to his, but she knows that's because he knew he was dead, and he didn't want to break a promise. not that this matters because she also knows that both her and and nico aren't going to let him just be dead.]
Did Reigen tell you about Mob?
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