PC: ACE 💀

[resumed]

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[resumed]

It might've been. [ he says tiredly, but contemplatively. ] There's only a few answers that make the most sense, and...the thing is...when you know how to really use your powers, you know how much effort to apply when you want to. So. Now it's about figuring it out and going from there.

[selfimmolation]

... Sorry I can't help you guys with that. [ he should probably stop apologizing for things. he can't quite help it right now. ]

[resumed]

[ fuck off, he's just trying to grab his hand now. ]

A tip — if you feel the urge to apologize unprompted, just pause and think about whether you need to. It’s surprising how often you don’t. [ it's quiet, and also said more like he's quoting someone else. ]

[selfimmolation]

[ ah. of course nico can grab his hand. ace hesitates before he holds it back ]

... Speaking from experience?

[resumed]

[ okay he's going to hold onto this just because he's very fully aware by this time tomorrow ace will be gone forever, sorry. a rueful little smile follows though. ]

Nope, it's something Tama told me a few weeks ago that she wanted me to keep in mind, so I'm passing it on to you. [ ... ] So maybe a little experience.

[selfimmolation]

Tama's already lectured me enough fine on her own, you don't have to add on to it. [ it's teasing, though. he... likes the contact. he's not going to complain. ] ... It's hard not to feel like I messed up somewhere, seeing you guys like this.

[resumed]

Even if it's stuff you should hear anyway? [ he shakes his head. but...well. ]

I get it. I've...apologized for a lot of things after seeing people's reactions. Including apologizing for killing someone and hoping I didn't poison my friendship with people because of it. [ he just comes out to say it. ] You know it was a choice you had to make at the time, but it's still something you have to learn to live with when other people's reactions are more obvious.

But I don't know. I wouldn't call this messing up, Ace. Did you blame Reigen and say he messed up for wanting to live when Yae Miko came after him?

[selfimmolation]

[ that makes him smirk a little, lightly ]

... I did... really want to punch him, at the time. For not telling us. [ and it was not hypocrisy because the mg gods let me go ofc ace wouldve told people if it wasnt for those pesky brain problems. ] Think that counts?

[resumed]

No, because that's for not telling us, not for doing it and being stuck in a bad situation. Those are two different things. [ are they. ]

[selfimmolation]

[ of course they are. ace can't help it, he laughs a little. it's probably not appropriate for the moment, but he does ]

Yeah. I guess that's true.

[resumed]

[ he sort of grips his hand a little when ace laughs. ]

The point is...you didn't mess up. You would've messed up if you'd done to Sigrun what someone did to Reigen. If you'd been cruel in her death. But that's not you.

[selfimmolation]

[ there's a twitch to ace's face, because he doesn't know that that's true, but he's not going to argue it. ]

... No, I guess not. [ the reminder of reigen's death is... yeah. ] Ah, I'm not going to keep making you reassure me for something like this.

[ realizing he is being unfair to nico with that!!! ]

[resumed]

[ no be unfair to him, he doesn't care. also he knows ace has killed people, probably brutally, because he's a pirate but he is only talking here thank you very much!! ]

You're really not making me do anything I don't want to do, Ace. Do I look like the kind of person to say things I don't mean?

[selfimmolation]

[ me thinking of how in ace's intro he just sets fire to like, 10 ships in the middle of the ocean and leaves them all to die ]

That's not what I meant, Nico. I'm done wallowing. I don't want it to be the last thing I do.

[ .........again ]

[resumed]

[ me as him. but he rolls his eyes to that. ]

Okay, okay. No more wallowing. [ a pause. ] ...what do you want to do then? [ "while we can" goes unsaid. ]

[selfimmolation]

[ there are so many things he wants to say, but he doesn't know if he can bring himself to say them. so... ]

I don't know. [ he admits, simply, but: ] I've always enjoyed talking with you no matter what it was, though.

[resumed]

[ also fair. he doesn't mind the simplicity (the honesty), but he does laugh a little uncertainly. ]

Not that I always understood why, but it doesn't hurt that you've been one of the easiest people to talk to. Like...here and in general. [ he knows exactly why that is but he refuses to think too hard about it. ]

[selfimmolation]

I've heard from reliable sources that were only mostly drunk that I can be a pretty easy guy to get along with. Might be it.

[ it's a joke. inappropriate for the time. also, pirates are so drunk. less of a joke, though: ]

Does there need to be a reason?

[resumed]

Only mostly? Oh, that's fine then. [ haha. ] Now you've got a lot of sober sources, too. Funny how that works.

[ he can roll with it, at least. but then ace asks that question and he shrugs. they are still holding hands and he's really out here like "idk i'm still learning how to talk to people." ]

Normally I would say yes because that's how it's always been, but it's been a work in progress to try and accept that maybe it's easier to talk to people than I think it is, sometimes.

[selfimmolation]

That's not as believable. Drunk people are really honest.

[ stop being an asshole, ace. you are dying. he tilts his head a little at nico ]

... I gotta admit, I've never thought that deeply about it myself. There's some people that are easy to talk to, and some that aren't. That's all there is to it for me.

[resumed]

[ he seems to think about something before he just. looks a little sheepish and avoids eye contact for a second. ]

I'm going to take your word for it even if I think your word might be wrong in some instances. [ it's a joke but also gods. anyway he...thinks about this. ]

...I kind of wish a lot more of the world saw it the way you do. Maybe then things would be easier for people.

[selfimmolation]

It's probably wrong in a lot of instances.

[ har har. more jokes. he looks over at nico and sort of smiles ]

Maybe. Or maybe it'd be a mess. I think you've gotten pretty good at getting along with others here, though.

[resumed]

[ he doesn't argue, but he does give him a Look. and then it fades as he grows more thoughtful. ]

...I'm trying harder than usual, I think, to make it easier on him. [ he does not always think he's good with people. he's kind of bad with them, actually, even if he has a lot of good qualities for being good with others. ] It helps that a lot of the people here are more understanding of things.

[selfimmolation]

A lot of people here have been through similar stuff. Maybe that's why we got dragged here. [ he shrugs a little ] I would've liked you even if you weren't trying harder than usual.

[ nico keeps saying ace is easy to get along with, which is fair enough, but there's a difference between that and how they bonded, he thinks. (hopes?) ]

[resumed]

I'd wondered that, but that's a pretty terrible realization to think people are here because our lives have been suffering. [ blankly. but he hears that and he looks away again. ]

I don't know if I'm supposed to say "thanks" or "stop." [ lol. ]