[ haha! there is no mechanism but like that's going to stop nico, really. it's been this way since they set foot in oceanside. phoenix and fox have to tie for the two of them to get home, finally. the thought of leaving behind will after everything they've been through...
well. whatever. that's a thought for later. ]
...fake it til you make it, right? [ he doesn't seem to comment on the fact it's a facade. ] Do you think of yourself as less sincere then? Or just someone still learning how to make the projection true?
[ this is why nico isn't a fox, he does stuff like this. but he does offer a slightly rueful smile like "sorry about that" even if he doesn't back down from the question. ]
...I've come to find that the trick is to surround yourself with people who'll help you get there. Or at least the ones that give you a reason to believe what you're delivering is true and that the parts that aren't quite there aren't as rotten as you think. [ shrug.] But maybe that's just me.
[ It's maybe a bit of a relief. Nico may be gloomy and extremely goth, but overall he strikes Ponta as someone who's got this loving and being loved thing down pat. You'd have to, to be like that with someone like Will, right? ]
[ lol. lmao. he kind of grins at that though and he's picking up a few paintbrushes. ]
To be fair, Will and I have been together for almost a year and we still argue about the art of optimism. [ as you do. ] I'm not always good with being social, even now. Something about needing to work on my people skills? [ fond. and amused. but thoughtful. ] But I can at least try and follow by example every now and then when I know myself better.
[ nico's a good enough person, when people get to really know him, but the problem is he's bad at letting people know him a lot of the time. ]
Huh... I find it easy enough to be social, it's just... making it mean something that's rough.
[ He's spent so much time just doing as he's told and pleasing the people he was meant to please with no real warmth behind it. Now when he sees that warmth elsewhere, it's hard to figure out how he fits into it. ]
But I guess that's the thing - you're not a liar. Being yourself is simply the harder task.
[ that actually gets him to laugh. it's not entirely filled with humor but it is...man. ]
Being yourself is actually one of the hardest things in the world, especially when you've been told you're supposed to be one thing that you don't always want to be. But in the end it does get a little easier. Once you find people who're willing to help you get there and figure out who you actually are.
[ so no. nico's never really been a liar (outside of the times he's had to be), but it's just that he hated being himself for so long that trying to figure out who he currently is has been a Process. ]
[ 'You're supposed to be one thing that you don't always want to be' had Ponta nodding along. It makes sense now why Nico was so supportive when he told him that he'd abandoned his old life in an attempted clean cut. ]
... yeah. That's what Team Fox is doing for me, too. Will's pretty amazing, so it's downright astounding that Fox managed to recruit several people who are this way.
[ yeah! lean into change! don't let your past chain you down! he is still learning that lesson himself but he's always been a little hypocritical that way. ]
Most amazing person I know. And one of the most stubborn. [ haha. ] From what I gather, Team Fox is full of people who'll hype you up even when you can't always understand what they even see in you. And eventually you start believing it and figuring out who you want to be. I think it's pretty amazing myself. You guys are pretty balanced that way.
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well. whatever. that's a thought for later. ]
...fake it til you make it, right? [ he doesn't seem to comment on the fact it's a facade. ] Do you think of yourself as less sincere then? Or just someone still learning how to make the projection true?
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[ Ponta has to go quiet to think about it for a moment. How dare Nico make him do serious self reflection in the arts and crafts maze!! ]
Guess I don't think it makes much of a difference, as long as I don't admit to it? Like, if I'm making people smile either way...
[ He shrugs. ]
It'd be nice if the lie was true someday, but I dunno how to get there. So eh.
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...I've come to find that the trick is to surround yourself with people who'll help you get there. Or at least the ones that give you a reason to believe what you're delivering is true and that the parts that aren't quite there aren't as rotten as you think. [ shrug.] But maybe that's just me.
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... you too, hm? I wouldn't really have guessed.
[ It's maybe a bit of a relief. Nico may be gloomy and extremely goth, but overall he strikes Ponta as someone who's got this loving and being loved thing down pat. You'd have to, to be like that with someone like Will, right? ]
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To be fair, Will and I have been together for almost a year and we still argue about the art of optimism. [ as you do. ] I'm not always good with being social, even now. Something about needing to work on my people skills? [ fond. and amused. but thoughtful. ] But I can at least try and follow by example every now and then when I know myself better.
[ nico's a good enough person, when people get to really know him, but the problem is he's bad at letting people know him a lot of the time. ]
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[ He's spent so much time just doing as he's told and pleasing the people he was meant to please with no real warmth behind it. Now when he sees that warmth elsewhere, it's hard to figure out how he fits into it. ]
But I guess that's the thing - you're not a liar. Being yourself is simply the harder task.
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Being yourself is actually one of the hardest things in the world, especially when you've been told you're supposed to be one thing that you don't always want to be. But in the end it does get a little easier. Once you find people who're willing to help you get there and figure out who you actually are.
[ so no. nico's never really been a liar (outside of the times he's had to be), but it's just that he hated being himself for so long that trying to figure out who he currently is has been a Process. ]
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... yeah. That's what Team Fox is doing for me, too. Will's pretty amazing, so it's downright astounding that Fox managed to recruit several people who are this way.
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Most amazing person I know. And one of the most stubborn. [ haha. ] From what I gather, Team Fox is full of people who'll hype you up even when you can't always understand what they even see in you. And eventually you start believing it and figuring out who you want to be. I think it's pretty amazing myself. You guys are pretty balanced that way.