[ he's not hesitating because he doesn't want to say, but because there's a lot of context that's hard to explain. ]
I didn't set out to join Whitebeard. In fact, I tried to take his head-- about a hundred times. It's a bit hard to explain, but despite all that, he offered me a place on his crew. As his son. So when I accepted it, I didn't take that oath to him lightly, and I wanted to make sure the world knew it. Now, I'm always carrying Pops' will and pride with me. [ it's very sentimental and symbolic, is the point. he grins lightly ]
[ first of all, he kind of respects the idea of ace trying to murder his captain. listen. you establish yourself first and then figure stuff out later, it's normal. but the rest...makes sense to him in a different way. he can understand the idea of taking an oath and wanting to abide by it. he can understand the idea of intense loyalty. he can understand what it means to be accepted somewhere and want everyone to know how it shaped you.
so yeah. he sort of grins in thought. ]
...the tattoo Will's got is because of his dad. Similar reasons, like...a symbol to honor him. A lot of the time people like us don't have the best relationships with our parents or...you know, authority. So when it happens it's kind of a big deal.
[ i love that icon i'm distracted by it. ace kind of smiles, briefly, at the comparison. ]
... Yeah. [ because it's similar. ] Whitebeard's the only father I'll acknowledge. [ he doesn't say much more than that on the subject, because it says enough about his parental relationships there. but he does have a funny anecdote: ] Although, he's even worse about ignoring doctors than anyone else. Stubborn old man. [ soft and fond ]
[ it's my favorite. he seems a little pleased that ace got the point though.
he doesn't think it's a bad thing if ace is only accepting an adopted father. listen, he's one of the last people to talk about daddy issues. so he does not voice it out loud, there's just a quiet sense of understanding. ]
Well now I see where you get it from. [ teasing. ] ...Apollo's the god of a few things where we're from, including the sun and healing. So...[ he kind of shrugs as if that explains things. you pick the things from the people you love and run with it, really. ]
[ no. also yeah it is it's fine, nico seems to like. be aware this is the first time he's spelled it out for ace so he doesn't seem surprised. ]
Yes. Jason's as well. [ he had mentioned that they got their powers from their fathers, but he never outright said they were gods. so. ] Our camp's for people like us who're children of the gods. It's how Will and I met.
[ gods do not have children in one piece, only devils :) ]
It's kind of impressive to think there's a place where the gods have so many kids they'd make a whole camp for them, but... [ but knowing what he does about the camp and the note about not getting along with parents. it kind of sounds like gods are deadbeats, so. ] Glad to hear Will gets along with his, at least.
[ stop. anyway he sort of makes a face because impressive isn't really the word he'd use for it, but. it's complicated. ]
That's just for the Greek gods. The Romans have their own camp on the other side of the country. [ wry. ] To be completely fair, Apollo didn't exactly have much of a choice before he came to us for help. I think they bonded pretty quickly during that time. That helped.
[ but he sort of just shakes his head. ]
The point was...I get it. The tattoo makes sense. [ he says, curiously eyeing the one on his arm as well. ]
[ it's will's story, not nico's, so ace just nods even though he has more questions if he's honest. and then he notices nico looking at his arm and turns a bit to show it more ]
The "S", right? [ it's not the first time people have been curious about that in his life. ] It's for our other brother. Sabo. It's how he signed everything. [ there's a pause before his smile turns a little melancholy ] He was killed when we were kids.
[ sometimes you carry your dead with you nico is probably. familiar. with that ]
[ that is in fact will's story. he's not sure if will would share (he thinks he probably would) and as far as he can tell that's good enough for him. it's out of his hands.
he should maybe be even remotely embarrassed to be caught looking but he's rude sometimes so he's not. rather, he's curious and he tilts his head a little for a better look. shame does the same, oddly enough.
and then ace says that and he sort of. kind of understands a lot about the person ace is, suddenly. he can't say he's surprised that someone like ace finds people he attaches himself to even if it's not easy and then carries them with him for the rest of his life. isn't that basically what nico himself does? he doesn't quite say "i'm sorry to hear that" because it feels hollow. so instead, he says: ]
...he'd probably be really happy to know you were honoring him, too. I'm pretty sure all souls like being remembered by people who cared about them, even if they also don't always want the living to linger. [ he pauses again. and then he decides that you know what, here, have more of the things he keeps to himself, ace. ]
Bianca died when I was ten. I've never really figured out the best way to deal with it or honor her in a way she'd want me to, but at least I know she's okay.
[ he'd expected the sorry to hear that, is the thing, so to hear something else is... it's surprising. it makes sense, because Nico said he could talk to the dead, but... ace puts a hand over the crossed out s to trace it with a soft laugh ]
He'd make fun of me. For being sentimental. [ because sabo never knew an ace that felt comfortable admitting he cared about people so blatantly. he doesn't say that part ] ... Sabo died when we were ten, too. That's why Luffy and I promised each other we'd live without regrets.
[ he doesn't know if that honors him properly, but it's what they've done. he hesitates before asking: ]
Have you talked to her? Since?
[ if he had that kind of power, to talk to the dead-- he'd probably just apologize a lot. ]
[ he rolls his eyes a little at that because that sounds like a sibling relationship, sure. but he remains quiet and listens. some things make more sense to him now, at least about things ace has said in their time here.
"I don't want to have any regrets. So I try to live to the fullest as much as I can."
funny, really, how death can change your entire view on life. ]
Makes sense. When you never know what might happen...sometimes that's all you can do. [ a morbid part of him wants to ask how sabo died. did ace get to say goodbye at least? but he decides that's not appropriate right now and instead thinks about the other question. it's...still hard, sometimes, to talk about bianca but he'd started coming to terms with her death not too long ago. ]
A few times, yes. [ easy to admit, and there's a wry little smile. ] ...she was my older sister, and even in death she still tried to tell me what to do. Not that it was what I wanted to hear back then. All I'd wanted was to try and find a way to bring her back even when she told me I had to forgive the circumstances and learn to let her go. I didn't care. Bianca was...she knew me best. She was the only person who fully understood me and never judged me for who I was, and she was all I had. But after her death her soul was judged and she made it to Elysium. [ ... ] Like paradise. Heroes who die and make it there can either live peacefully in the afterlife, or they can choose to try and be reborn. Die and make it to Elysium three times, you're granted passage to the Isles of the Blest.
I went back to the Underworld to try and find her again, and that's how I found out she had chosen rebirth. I had to finally accept it and learn to start to move forward without her. [ he thinks this through. ] There are means by which even a reborn soul can return for brief moments, but that's more my father's power than anything I can do.
[ he does not say that he actually saw bianca like two weeks ago because hades cheated, but he does at least seem a little at ease about it. ]
[ that description of his sister... maybe hits home a little too much. he thinks nico's pretty strong, to be able to be faced with his sister's ghost and be able to let go, no matter how long it took. ]
Of course she kept trying to tell you what to do. It's an older sibling privilege, you know. [ it's a little teasing. ] She must've been sure you were going to be fine, if she was willing to let go to be reborn.
[ this part he's more sure about. and nico's sharing so ace shares back because this is the worst bonding session of all time ]
... Sabo and I were the same age. Maybe because Luffy was such a troublesome little brother he needed two older ones. [ lightly, and his tone is still light when he continues; ] But he was the better brother. The better person all around, really. I don't know anything about death and where souls go where they die at home. But I've tried to carry him with me anyway.
And it's a younger sibling privilege to argue back every time. [ quietly, but somewhat fondly. ] I don't know if that was it. Even before she died, she tried to leave me behind to join the Hunters. I was angry about it at first, but I think as I got older I understood a little better. It had been us for so long that...things changed, so she made a choice. If anything I think she was hoping other people would take care of me instead.
[ but then she died, and nico refused to let anyone help him, so how'd that work out. nevertheless... ]
Considering you told me Luffy used to eat worms, I could buy that. [ haha. ] Even when souls move on, there's no reason not to carry people with you. To forget about them entirely is too cruel. [but he pauses to think. ] Do you think Sabo would agree he was the better person?
Even if that's true, she probably thought it was better for both of you.
[ it's said hesitantly because he's aware he's projecting, a little, the way he looked at the strawhats with luffy back then and thought oh, good. he's got other people now, and felt nothing but relief.
the sabo question, though. it draws him short. ]
I don't think he ever considered it like that. [ comparing themselves, ace means. ] But that's how it was. When Sabo was gone, I had to learn to be better so I could take care of Luffy, since I was the only one left. He wasn't around to pick up my slack anymore.
[ ace is projecting a little but nico doesn't say anything because...knowing bianca and the things she's said to him, that's a distinct possibility. he doesn't argue, giving him a faint smile of acknowledgment but moving on. ]
...from what you've said, it sounds like you did a pretty decent job. [ luffy's alive and has a crew and he's going to be the pirate king. ] Maybe be proud of that.
[ the implication is that he thinks, from the sound of things, sabo would be. ]
...Well, I guess I can't argue with decent. [ especially since no regrets means not lingering on whether he did what he should've at every turn or not, so in the end he sounds amused. ]
Yeah but that's totally different. [ he does not elaborate on that either. ] I obviously don't mind that you have, or I would've walked away like twenty minutes ago.
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i'm assuming he's shirtless so he's just. leaning to look at the mark a little closer. squinting. studying it. ]
Did it have to be that big...?
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Nah. A lot of the crew have it smaller, or elsewhere. I'm the one who wanted it like this.
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Oh. Can I ask why? [ he's mostly curious if there's an actual reason or if ace just went "why not." ]
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[ he's not hesitating because he doesn't want to say, but because there's a lot of context that's hard to explain. ]
I didn't set out to join Whitebeard. In fact, I tried to take his head-- about a hundred times. It's a bit hard to explain, but despite all that, he offered me a place on his crew. As his son. So when I accepted it, I didn't take that oath to him lightly, and I wanted to make sure the world knew it. Now, I'm always carrying Pops' will and pride with me. [ it's very sentimental and symbolic, is the point. he grins lightly ]
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so yeah. he sort of grins in thought. ]
...the tattoo Will's got is because of his dad. Similar reasons, like...a symbol to honor him. A lot of the time people like us don't have the best relationships with our parents or...you know, authority. So when it happens it's kind of a big deal.
[ which is to say he gets it. ]
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... Yeah. [ because it's similar. ] Whitebeard's the only father I'll acknowledge. [ he doesn't say much more than that on the subject, because it says enough about his parental relationships there. but he does have a funny anecdote: ] Although, he's even worse about ignoring doctors than anyone else. Stubborn old man. [ soft and fond ]
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he doesn't think it's a bad thing if ace is only accepting an adopted father. listen, he's one of the last people to talk about daddy issues. so he does not voice it out loud, there's just a quiet sense of understanding. ]
Well now I see where you get it from. [ teasing. ] ...Apollo's the god of a few things where we're from, including the sun and healing. So...[ he kind of shrugs as if that explains things. you pick the things from the people you love and run with it, really. ]
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... A god, huh? Is that where your powers come from, then?
[ gods and the devil. little funny for ace. ]
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Yes. Jason's as well. [ he had mentioned that they got their powers from their fathers, but he never outright said they were gods. so. ] Our camp's for people like us who're children of the gods. It's how Will and I met.
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It's kind of impressive to think there's a place where the gods have so many kids they'd make a whole camp for them, but... [ but knowing what he does about the camp and the note about not getting along with parents. it kind of sounds like gods are deadbeats, so. ] Glad to hear Will gets along with his, at least.
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That's just for the Greek gods. The Romans have their own camp on the other side of the country. [ wry. ] To be completely fair, Apollo didn't exactly have much of a choice before he came to us for help. I think they bonded pretty quickly during that time. That helped.
[ but he sort of just shakes his head. ]
The point was...I get it. The tattoo makes sense. [ he says, curiously eyeing the one on his arm as well. ]
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[ it's will's story, not nico's, so ace just nods even though he has more questions if he's honest. and then he notices nico looking at his arm and turns a bit to show it more ]
The "S", right? [ it's not the first time people have been curious about that in his life. ] It's for our other brother. Sabo. It's how he signed everything. [ there's a pause before his smile turns a little melancholy ] He was killed when we were kids.
[ sometimes you carry your dead with you nico is probably. familiar. with that ]
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he should maybe be even remotely embarrassed to be caught looking but he's rude sometimes so he's not. rather, he's curious and he tilts his head a little for a better look. shame does the same, oddly enough.
and then ace says that and he sort of. kind of understands a lot about the person ace is, suddenly. he can't say he's surprised that someone like ace finds people he attaches himself to even if it's not easy and then carries them with him for the rest of his life. isn't that basically what nico himself does? he doesn't quite say "i'm sorry to hear that" because it feels hollow. so instead, he says: ]
...he'd probably be really happy to know you were honoring him, too. I'm pretty sure all souls like being remembered by people who cared about them, even if they also don't always want the living to linger. [ he pauses again. and then he decides that you know what, here, have more of the things he keeps to himself, ace. ]
Bianca died when I was ten. I've never really figured out the best way to deal with it or honor her in a way she'd want me to, but at least I know she's okay.
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He'd make fun of me. For being sentimental. [ because sabo never knew an ace that felt comfortable admitting he cared about people so blatantly. he doesn't say that part ] ... Sabo died when we were ten, too. That's why Luffy and I promised each other we'd live without regrets.
[ he doesn't know if that honors him properly, but it's what they've done. he hesitates before asking: ]
Have you talked to her? Since?
[ if he had that kind of power, to talk to the dead-- he'd probably just apologize a lot. ]
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"I don't want to have any regrets. So I try to live to the fullest as much as I can."
funny, really, how death can change your entire view on life. ]
Makes sense. When you never know what might happen...sometimes that's all you can do. [ a morbid part of him wants to ask how sabo died. did ace get to say goodbye at least? but he decides that's not appropriate right now and instead thinks about the other question. it's...still hard, sometimes, to talk about bianca but he'd started coming to terms with her death not too long ago. ]
A few times, yes. [ easy to admit, and there's a wry little smile. ] ...she was my older sister, and even in death she still tried to tell me what to do. Not that it was what I wanted to hear back then. All I'd wanted was to try and find a way to bring her back even when she told me I had to forgive the circumstances and learn to let her go. I didn't care. Bianca was...she knew me best. She was the only person who fully understood me and never judged me for who I was, and she was all I had. But after her death her soul was judged and she made it to Elysium. [ ... ] Like paradise. Heroes who die and make it there can either live peacefully in the afterlife, or they can choose to try and be reborn. Die and make it to Elysium three times, you're granted passage to the Isles of the Blest.
I went back to the Underworld to try and find her again, and that's how I found out she had chosen rebirth. I had to finally accept it and learn to start to move forward without her. [ he thinks this through. ] There are means by which even a reborn soul can return for brief moments, but that's more my father's power than anything I can do.
[ he does not say that he actually saw bianca like two weeks ago because hades cheated, but he does at least seem a little at ease about it. ]
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Of course she kept trying to tell you what to do. It's an older sibling privilege, you know. [ it's a little teasing. ] She must've been sure you were going to be fine, if she was willing to let go to be reborn.
[ this part he's more sure about. and nico's sharing so ace shares back because this is the worst bonding session of all time ]
... Sabo and I were the same age. Maybe because Luffy was such a troublesome little brother he needed two older ones. [ lightly, and his tone is still light when he continues; ] But he was the better brother. The better person all around, really. I don't know anything about death and where souls go where they die at home. But I've tried to carry him with me anyway.
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[ but then she died, and nico refused to let anyone help him, so how'd that work out. nevertheless... ]
Considering you told me Luffy used to eat worms, I could buy that. [ haha. ] Even when souls move on, there's no reason not to carry people with you. To forget about them entirely is too cruel. [but he pauses to think. ] Do you think Sabo would agree he was the better person?
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[ it's said hesitantly because he's aware he's projecting, a little, the way he looked at the strawhats with luffy back then and thought oh, good. he's got other people now, and felt nothing but relief.
the sabo question, though. it draws him short. ]
I don't think he ever considered it like that. [ comparing themselves, ace means. ] But that's how it was. When Sabo was gone, I had to learn to be better so I could take care of Luffy, since I was the only one left. He wasn't around to pick up my slack anymore.
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...from what you've said, it sounds like you did a pretty decent job. [ luffy's alive and has a crew and he's going to be the pirate king. ] Maybe be proud of that.
[ the implication is that he thinks, from the sound of things, sabo would be. ]
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Sorry about...all of that. [ is he apologizing for sharing. it's more likely than you think. ]
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[ there's a smirk but it's light, like it's nbd ]
I've talked your ear off a bunch already, you can't start apologizing for that.
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I'm glad you're not that fed up with me yet, then.
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