[ he doesn't even get to answer the time discrepancy thing because there's a comic panel popping up. there's a comic panel popping up, and...nico doesn't want to keep following it. he goes for a while, registering the scene. registering the fight. registering ace getting riled up and ready to defend the man he called pops with every last breath he had.
quite literally, apparently. he's eerily silent the entire time, and it's one of those things where you know how the story's going to end before you even get that far. you know where things will go before you see them for yourself.
"all i wanted was to know where or not i should've been born."
"thank you for loving me."
the whole thing ends and he's kind of trying to figure out what the hell he's supposed to say? some things sure as fuck make a lot more sense now, about returning to a home and missing it and luffy's dreams and everything makes more sense.
anyway the only response i actually have is that he's busy swiping away a few tears because there are too many similar feelings and notes there and the idea of, once again, people who don't realize how good they truly are dying for other people just...comes full circle. ]
[ the tears are bad enough, but the accusation hurts more than anything else. far worse than reliving his own death, which-- is a whole different can of emotions he's not looking at and has been pointedly not looking at since they got here. the point is, ace flinches at that. ]
No, I-- [ he closes his eye and turns away for a second ] ... I was. I was trying to figure out how to bring it up. [ when to bring it up, because every other day it was something and he didn't want to drag them down further with something that. he couldn't convince himself mattered that much. he died and he was fine with it and it wasn't anything they could go back and fix, so telling them-- he had to, eventually, but. well. there was never going to be a good time. ] It's... Look, I...
[ he grits his teeth and continues to look away. he doesn't know what to say. that's been the whole problem the entire time.
sorry you cared about someone like me, when you were only going to get hurt by it? ]
[ the good thing, perhaps, is that the tears are easy to stop because it was more the shock of realization than anything. there's still an overwhelming sense of grief in him for this knowledge, but he can handle it. he can take care of things.
he watches ace turn and he pauses to catch his breath, trying to refocus. ]
...it's difficult to say anything when it feels like everyone's already suffering enough. Right? [ he's trying to understand. ]
[ he does believe ace never wanted him to see this because it was me entirely, sorry nico. but anyway...it's a little funny that ace says "it's nothing any of you can do anything about" and nico's ready to march to the underworld and go "watch me" all over again.
these are terrible coping mechanisms. but he frowns quietly even as he nods.]
...I believe you with that one because you wouldn't want to hurt us unintentionally. [ he has. figured out that part. ] Or make us worry unnecessarily.
...a rescue mission, and then they said things about Whitebeard and then they attacked you. [ he doesn't add that ace was provoked or any of what really happened, this is the basis of his understanding. ]
... It wasn't a rescue mission. It was all out war. Pops brought everyone, and the Marines had their entire forces there, too. [ it feels crazy, to have a war fought for him, but there it is he is helen de troy ] Televised for the world to see.
[ assumes nico means why anyone would want to fight a war over him and he's like i know right but ]
... I'm... [ but he hates discussing this, wow. ] The blood son of the Pirate King. The worst criminal that ever lived. [ specifies blood son because that guy never did shit for him!!! but; ] They wanted to stop his legacy since before I was born.
[ ace is maybe going to realize that's not what nico meant in about five seconds because: ]
So? It's not like you chose that! So why you? Why punish you for something you didn't even ask for to begin with? Didn't they think that maybe you wouldn't be like your father?
[ he says, with absolutely zero investment in this at all. ]
... Well, I did end up a pirate, too. [ there's something wry there, because he wants nothing to do with roger, has never wanted anything to do with roger, but. it has never really mattered. ace is looking down at his hands now ] But I don't think they ever really cared about the what ifs. I'm only alive in the first place because of my mother. They knew the Pirate King had a lover, based on how he acted around a certain island, but not who she was. So they came to her island. Everyone they thought might be suspicious-- pregnant women, children, babies-- they killed. She found a way to make it so I was born two years after he died. It killed her.
[ sorry this is some greek tragedy bullshit you have enough of this at home ]
...[ this sure is some greek tragedy bullshit, but he just stares at him quietly. ]
I know you know that becoming a pirate doesn't mean you're like him. [ so he won't touch that. ] But that's...was he really so awful they didn't care whose lives it cost to try and find you?
... Being like him's the last thing I ever want to be.
[ but at that question, ace... shrugs. ]
It's what everyone says. The most dangerous criminal to ever exist. The worst of the worst. A demon. He defined an era and started the great age of piracy, and everything bad that came with it. [ whether ace subscribes to that entirely or not is hard to say. it doesn't really matter, because in the end it isn't roger himself that defined how people saw ace so much as the legacy he left behind. a legacy roger left behind on purpose. so. ] As far as I'm concerned, I might share his blood, but he's not my father. I've only got one of those.
[ whitebeard. as established. after a second, he adds; ]
Luffy's grandfather was the one who caught him. Apparently, he asked him to take care of me as a favor, so Gramps hid me with the mountain bandits.
Considering I don't think you're a demon, I'd say you succeeded in not being like him. [ dry. but angry. how dare people do this. how dare people treat a person like this just because of a legacy he didn't ask for? ] Blood doesn't always define family anyhow. If you've chosen your own, then...that's enough.
[ ...but oh. oh dear. ]
...which is why you were basically fighting to survive since you were a little kid. Before you left to sail and before you joined Whitebeard. That's the whole story, isn't it? [ because just because you were saved, it didn't mean you were safe. ]
[ he did choose his own family. over and over. it makes him smile softly, despite the fact that whether he wanted it to or not being roger's son did define him in the end. since. that is part of what he died for. well, never mind, his smile turns a little wry ]
... They were bandits. And they weren't thrilled to be blackmailed into taking care of such a rowdy kid, and how dangerous it'd be if the government found out. [ it's self-aware, but somehow. fucking fond. ] The old hag wasn't always nice, but she wasn't the worst. And Gramps' got kind of an unusual sense of how to raise kids in general. He used to throw Luffy into the jungle to train him too. I think that's just how he is.
You were still just a kid, you know. [ he doesn't care? these people all suck oh my gods he's so annoyed actually. ] ...it still doesn't change the fact they shouldn't have done this to you. No matter what.
[ SORRY HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THAT FOR A WHILE. fun, new sentiments he is hearing for the first time.
... in the end he kind of nudges nico lightly ]
... I didn't live a bad life, you know. [ it's said a little quietly. yes, parts of it were bad, but overall... ace ended up so loved, when he never really did anything to deserve it. he can't regret that. ]
I know. [ which is maybe the awful part, that in the end ace still had something. it's no different than bianca or jason or any of the others who've died early in their lives. they had people who loved them and people they loved in return, places they called home and lives they were just starting to live but got snuffed out too quickly by nature of being who they are. ] No regrets, right? I know, and I'm glad there were good things, but...I can still say there were a lot of things unfair to you. You should have gotten to live it longer.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w4 monday
It's taken us this long to get a bar. I'm a little impressed.
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Technically I think I'm actually older than you. So you don't know, maybe they'll let me in after all.
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Since when?
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Since...always, I guess?
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[ why does he think that. one piece, you see. anyway i've decided to be rude we are never getting this lore because you asked for death ]
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quite literally, apparently. he's eerily silent the entire time, and it's one of those things where you know how the story's going to end before you even get that far. you know where things will go before you see them for yourself.
"all i wanted was to know where or not i should've been born."
"thank you for loving me."
the whole thing ends and he's kind of trying to figure out what the hell he's supposed to say? some things sure as fuck make a lot more sense now, about returning to a home and missing it and luffy's dreams and everything makes more sense.
anyway the only response i actually have is that he's busy swiping away a few tears because there are too many similar feelings and notes there and the idea of, once again, people who don't realize how good they truly are dying for other people just...comes full circle. ]
You were never going to tell us, were you.
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No, I-- [ he closes his eye and turns away for a second ] ... I was. I was trying to figure out how to bring it up. [ when to bring it up, because every other day it was something and he didn't want to drag them down further with something that. he couldn't convince himself mattered that much. he died and he was fine with it and it wasn't anything they could go back and fix, so telling them-- he had to, eventually, but. well. there was never going to be a good time. ] It's... Look, I...
[ he grits his teeth and continues to look away. he doesn't know what to say. that's been the whole problem the entire time.
sorry you cared about someone like me, when you were only going to get hurt by it? ]
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he watches ace turn and he pauses to catch his breath, trying to refocus. ]
...it's difficult to say anything when it feels like everyone's already suffering enough. Right? [ he's trying to understand. ]
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[ he winces, a little. ]
I would've said it earlier, if I'd known this was coming. [ like. please believe him he never wanted nico to see. that. ]
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these are terrible coping mechanisms. but he frowns quietly even as he nods.]
...I believe you with that one because you wouldn't want to hurt us unintentionally. [ he has. figured out that part. ] Or make us worry unnecessarily.
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[ he doesn't know what to add to that actually! he is just kind of. hmmm. bad. he figures he should at least explain: ]
... I was going to be executed. They came to get me out.
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...a rescue mission, and then they said things about Whitebeard and then they attacked you. [ he doesn't add that ace was provoked or any of what really happened, this is the basis of his understanding. ]
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[ been real awkward being here every week, ]
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never mind he hates pirates suddenly. ]
Seriously? Why? [ never mind he would've fought a fucking war to save ace, too. ] Why you?
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... I'm... [ but he hates discussing this, wow. ] The blood son of the Pirate King. The worst criminal that ever lived. [ specifies blood son because that guy never did shit for him!!! but; ] They wanted to stop his legacy since before I was born.
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So? It's not like you chose that! So why you? Why punish you for something you didn't even ask for to begin with? Didn't they think that maybe you wouldn't be like your father?
[ he says, with absolutely zero investment in this at all. ]
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... Well, I did end up a pirate, too. [ there's something wry there, because he wants nothing to do with roger, has never wanted anything to do with roger, but. it has never really mattered. ace is looking down at his hands now ] But I don't think they ever really cared about the what ifs. I'm only alive in the first place because of my mother. They knew the Pirate King had a lover, based on how he acted around a certain island, but not who she was. So they came to her island. Everyone they thought might be suspicious-- pregnant women, children, babies-- they killed. She found a way to make it so I was born two years after he died. It killed her.
[ sorry this is some greek tragedy bullshit you have enough of this at home ]
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I know you know that becoming a pirate doesn't mean you're like him. [ so he won't touch that. ] But that's...was he really so awful they didn't care whose lives it cost to try and find you?
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[ but at that question, ace... shrugs. ]
It's what everyone says. The most dangerous criminal to ever exist. The worst of the worst. A demon. He defined an era and started the great age of piracy, and everything bad that came with it. [ whether ace subscribes to that entirely or not is hard to say. it doesn't really matter, because in the end it isn't roger himself that defined how people saw ace so much as the legacy he left behind. a legacy roger left behind on purpose. so. ] As far as I'm concerned, I might share his blood, but he's not my father. I've only got one of those.
[ whitebeard. as established. after a second, he adds; ]
Luffy's grandfather was the one who caught him. Apparently, he asked him to take care of me as a favor, so Gramps hid me with the mountain bandits.
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[ ...but oh. oh dear. ]
...which is why you were basically fighting to survive since you were a little kid. Before you left to sail and before you joined Whitebeard. That's the whole story, isn't it? [ because just because you were saved, it didn't mean you were safe. ]
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... They were bandits. And they weren't thrilled to be blackmailed into taking care of such a rowdy kid, and how dangerous it'd be if the government found out. [ it's self-aware, but somehow. fucking fond. ] The old hag wasn't always nice, but she wasn't the worst. And Gramps' got kind of an unusual sense of how to raise kids in general. He used to throw Luffy into the jungle to train him too. I think that's just how he is.
[ read: garp is an asshole ]
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You were still just a kid, you know. [ he doesn't care? these people all suck oh my gods he's so annoyed actually. ] ...it still doesn't change the fact they shouldn't have done this to you. No matter what.
[ any of these people, actually. ]
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... in the end he kind of nudges nico lightly ]
... I didn't live a bad life, you know. [ it's said a little quietly. yes, parts of it were bad, but overall... ace ended up so loved, when he never really did anything to deserve it. he can't regret that. ]
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I know. [ which is maybe the awful part, that in the end ace still had something. it's no different than bianca or jason or any of the others who've died early in their lives. they had people who loved them and people they loved in return, places they called home and lives they were just starting to live but got snuffed out too quickly by nature of being who they are. ] No regrets, right? I know, and I'm glad there were good things, but...I can still say there were a lot of things unfair to you. You should have gotten to live it longer.
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