HAPPY HALLOWEEN BITCHES 🎃

[resumed]

code

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion...though you may have once known it as the Crimson Phoenix dorm. As you approach, you may find that the area is hardly recognizable. There are several tables set up outside hosting all sorts of activities, and at the front and center is a small, cheerfully crackling bonfire. Scattered around the outside are several fake tombstones with equally fake inscriptions painted on them and lit by soft glowing lights with various skeletons posed around the graveyard. In the front on the way to the main door is a twelve-foot skeleton dressed as a witch, and from here you can see three inflatable pumpkins on the roof. Approaching the dorm itself, you'll find that the outside has been decked out in lights and decor, and the inside is just as elaborate and extra. Terrible idea to give teenagers unlimited money and time on their hands, huh?

As you enter through the lobby, you'll find that you may be guided to enter a haunted maze. Adventurers beware...

...but for those of you who are more interested in the festivities upstairs, residents of Phoenix dorm will happily shuttle you up to the second floor in an elevator decked out with floating candles. Upon reaching this floor, you'll be greeted with the lounge. There are plenty of couches with red cushions and blankets for maximum comfort, and the entire floor is equally decorated. Various horror movies play on mute from the TV mounted against the wall, and music seems to reverberate throughout the dorm everywhere you go. Loud enough to enjoy, but not loud enough to disrupt conversation. Hanging from the ceiling there also appears to be a large pinata in the shape of the moon, a large wooden stick leaning against the wall with a bandana draped over the top...batter up!

The four bedrooms appear to be blocked off with caution tape, but the two bathrooms and the kitchen are open to everyone. And while there's a third floor...there's nothing of interest up there other than space and more decor to admire as you mingle.

The party's just getting started. Have fun and get spooky.

Comments

[stunwhistle]

I will definitely warn you if I can, but I don't actually know when this will end. Maybe I should move to your lap just in case?

[will can sit in nico's lap for once when he turns back. (this is probably also very funny to hear in darth vader's voice because of the voice changer.)]

That was the original plan, yeah. [he turns his head and - wait. now he spots the sparkles and bubbles.] ...seriously? Another one? That's three now!

[resumed]

[ there's a soft noise of agreement, and he does pick up tiny will vader to put in his hand again so he can set him in his lap. why the fuck not. it's easier to push will to the ground there if he has to. ]

I feel like that is a very convenient excuse, but I'll allow it because it's my party. [ how does that make sense??? he doesn't actually get far enough to put will there though because this is extremely funny to hear in darth vader's voice, but also: ]

Three? [ he's gonna kill off-schedule he swears. ] ...wait what's the third?

[stunwhistle]

[it does not make sense and will laughs a bit at that - only to stop when nico asks him that.

...

he pauses, then shrugs, then pulls his hemlet off to reveal a truly hideous mustache.]

Someone thought they were being really funny.

[resumed]

[








yeah he immediately slams the helmet back down. ]

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

[stunwhistle]

[OW, HIS HEAD.]

Hey, I didn't choose it!

[resumed]

[ HIS VIBES. ]

Oh my goooods. [ he's just. setting tiny, helmeted will on his thigh (enjoy the tight jeans, will) and burying his face in his hands. delicately. so he doesn't smear his eye makeup. ] Who. Why. I can't. No.

[ AHHHHHH. ]

The next time I take off your helmet I really, really hope it's gone.

[stunwhistle]

You and me both. I tried shaving it, and it didn't work!

[he's so mad. he kind of grumbles under his breath - ]

No way are you going to kiss me as long as this stupid thing is here.

[#priorities]

[resumed]

[ he's deadeyeing the whole way through this, although he mumbles back: ]

Definitely, definitely not. [ rip! ]

Okay so...are you saying this happened even before you became magical girl action figure? [ darth vader as a magical girl is a lot to contend with but here we are. ] Maybe I should be asking what you did to make someone mad.

[ it's deadpan, but will knows him enough to know he's teasing. ]

[stunwhistle]

It happened while I was getting ready.

[he just. sighs. so much.]

The mustache appeared like... right before I was going to put the helmet on. So I spent a little time trying to get rid of it, and that was no good. But then I figured - well - I'll have the helmet on for a while at the party, maybe it'll wear off before I have to take it off. So I put it on and I was heading out the door - and then poof! I was tiny.

[WHYYYY.]

The sparkles just startd not too long ago I think, I don't remember seeing them before now.

[resumed]

[ this...chain of events...is so much.

and like the sweet, loving boyfriend he is, he immediately just starts laughing. ]

You...wow, okay. That's actually impressively bad. [ hahahahaha. he should probably mention that he was a 10 year old up until about an hour or two ago, but this is funnier to focus on. ] No wonder you were late.

[stunwhistle]

Hey, don't just laugh at me!

[...he's kind of laughing too, though. it is sort of funny when it's all been laid out like this.]

[resumed]

I was sprouting flowers for two days and I spend a few hours as a kid. I'm allowed to laugh. [ the joke is that both of those things go against his usual aesthetic. ]

Then again this is actually a personal attack on me, so maybe laughing isn't the answer.

[stunwhistle]

[the way i really want to say that it's been 2 hours icly so that nico just has to deal with darth vader straddling him now. sighs.]

It kind of is a personal attack on you. I guess I'm just collateral damage...

[resumed]

[ i hate that. also i genuinely have no idea how long you decided he'd already been like this by the time nico found him. it's fine. ]

Which really is actually terrible for you, because if it's a personal attack on me, there's no benefit for you either. It's pretty effective in terms of attacking both of us. [ pats tiny vader's helmet with an index claw gently. and there's a mock sigh. ] And here I had all sorts of plans for you...

[ he is completely full of shit and once again has decided it's time to push will's buttons for fun and profit. ]

[stunwhistle]

No kidding. It's -

[fuck it, it's icly been 2 hours now. suddenly, will is full sized and sitting in nico's lap. hello nico.

...he adjusts a bit so he's straddling his waist and drapes his arms over nico's shoulders.]

Plans, huh? What sort of plans?

[again, this is very funny coming from someone who is speaking with darth vader's voice.]

[resumed]

[ there's a very surprised sound when there's suddenly a full-sized will straddling his waist in this chair. this is role reversal of a different kind, and he's not sure how to feel about it. well. it's not bad, at least, but now he has to deal with a separate problem and that problem is will might still have a very hideous mustache and also is shoujo sparkling.

it's very hard to take this seriously, but he does slide his hands around will's hips to hold him steady and continues to spout absolute nonsense. ]

Oh, you know. Plans. [ thanks. ] I've thought about them a little, and I think they might even be plans you like. Too bad about the mustache though, that's a real dealbreaker.

[stunwhistle]

[there is something about how body language and the way he speaks that makes it so, so obvious that will is pouting underneath the helmet. even though his expression is not at all visible and his voice is still going through the voice changer.]

Unbelievable. A guy goes through puberty and suddenly his boyfriend isn't interested anymore.

[resumed]

[ this is so funny? wow. maybe he should use the fact will finds him attractive no matter what the fuck he does against him more often. the voice changer really. makes this worse and funnier somehow, too. ]

Mmhm, sometimes it be like that. [ i hope will regrets introducing nico to online culture actually. ] Suffice to say, I'm pretty into guys I can kiss and not worry about getting scratched in the face.

[stunwhistle]

...there has got to be some way to get rid of this stupid mustache.

[his voice is the verbal equivalent of 🥺 right about now despite sounding like vader.]

[resumed]

[ he raises an eyebrow. and brings a hand up to tap him on the nose...or at least where his nose probably is under the dumb helmet. ]

Probably. Maybe if you say the magic words it'll wear off on its own. [ he has no idea how long this mustache curse lasts. ]

[stunwhistle]

[magic words, huh...]

Nico, I really want to kiss you right now.

[resumed]

[ that makes him laugh again? but it's a little more fond this time. ]

You really think that'll work?

[stunwhistle]

If I'm lucky it will.

[he says, still straddling nico's waist.]

[resumed]

Funny. Can't really tell when you're still wearing the stupid helmet, but I'm almost afraid to look again.

[ he really is just. dressed as darth vader and straddling his goth ass, huh. his thumbs are still rubbing little circles over will's hips since he's there, but he's also letting him stay there while slowly becoming aware of the fact his legs might fall asleep just because will's taller and outweighs him by like forty pounds. ]

[stunwhistle]

[nico don't just let him stay there at your legs' expense.]

You've got good instincts. I bet whenever you have me take it off, it'll be gone.