[ He looks up at the empty husk of a building. At least it's not on fire anymore, but iirc any sparce decorations that were inside got burnt to ashes. It's basically a step backwards, at this point. ]
[ actually ori do you want a specific murder memory or do you want something more thematic based on whatever is going on. ]
Okay, first of all, repainting my entire dorm sounds like way more work than I want to put into this. And secondly...I don't have my ghosts yet. That's what I'm working on.
[ bc honest to god, he's been very "I don't know anything about anything" hanging out with all these people here. he never really did get out much, stuck in school for so many years ]
[ "Happy Flush" is such a slap in the face. Even as the memory finishes and disappears, Hanako rushes forward, trying to grab the screen to keep it there, wanting to see more of it. ]
[ yeah i forgot about that, anyway. well. nico's just sort of staring blankly like he's been suckerpunched, a hand coming up to briefly touch a few newly faded scars on his cheek. but he takes a deep breath when he registers that hanako is talking to him. ]
...I summoned her again a few times after that. But she chose to be reborn before I could pull her out of the underworld. However, when I went to find her, I found Hazel instead. She's my other sister who I brought back from Asphodel.
[ so he wasn't lying when he said he did bring somebody back from the dead. he just didn't specifically bring the person he was originally looking for back. ]
[ the way this is still just kind of a suckerpunch because bro he's been wondering this for years. ]
...where we're from, when heroes die, they get the chance to go to Elysium. I think I told you about it before. It's a place where those who've been judged as good people can go and spend their afterlife in peace or choose to try again. For people like us, if you die three times and make it to Elysium three times, you're given the opportunity to go to the Isles of the Blest. Which is like the ultimate paradise. There's no pain and no suffering and only good things.
I think...Bianca wanted me to try and move on, and she knew she couldn't come back with me. Or, rather, that she wasn't supposed to. I've been making peace with it.
...I don't know. [ this is entering territory now that he doesn't want to think too hard about. he'd made peace with bianca's passing recently, but this place really wants to push his buttons in a few ways. ] I guess she didn't want me exchanging a soul for a soul. And I know Minos' method was wrong, but I would have figured out something else.
...but even before that she wanted to leave. She chose to join the Hunters and leave me behind at camp.
[ What's wrong with exchanging a soul for a soul? with sacrificing a complete stranger to save the one you love? it perhaps speaks to Hanako's immaturity, his selfishness, that this line of thinking is just and right and that Nico should've been able to go through with it. ]
Why?
[ That's not fair. this is so unfair. he's so upset on Nico's behalf, even if Nico's already made peace with it ]
[ he knows better now that he's older, but this was pretty much exactly the same line of questioning he went through when he was 11 and vulnerable and wanted his sister back at all costs.
but just because he's made peace doesn't mean he doesn't miss her still. ]
...why to which? [ he says quietly, because "why" is such a large and encompassing question. ]
Why... to all of it. I don't understand. Family is supposed to stay together no matter what, aren't they? She was important to you. So important, you went through so much to get her back. She has to have known that! So why... why would she leave...?
[ Nico wanted her back! She had to have wanted to go back! There is literally zero reason why Nico shouldn't throw somebody else under the bus to save his sister. ]
Usually judgment is final. That's all there is to it. Bianca made her choice, and there was nothing I or anyone else could do about it. No matter how many times I went back to look for her...she was already gone.
It was different with Hazel. I knew she didn't belong in Asphodel. And with the Doors of Death not functioning, it was easy to slip her out without my father's notice. And he never reclaimed her. She's very much alive again and living in New Rome.
[ and he'd never really dream of comparing the two...anymore. ]
I would prefer that they're not because it means every single monster I've ever killed would come back way too easily. [ dry. ] ...but I believe there are other ways all the same.
[ me, waiting all thread for whatever fucking horrible thing you're unleashing on me. me, now: aaaaHHHHHHH.
anyway. nico's just reading this comic through very, very quietly, like he senses it's something heavier and something hanako's not saying. it's funny, the dull ache in his chest he feels suddenly the longer he reads, and the frown that slowly filters onto his face as he reads from panel to panel.
and when he hits the end...well. it takes him a moment of looking at hanako as if he's trying to read him before he crouches a little to be more at his eyelevel. he still doesn't speak right away, trying to figure out the correct approach. ]
...even knowing you're doing the right thing for her. It still hurts a little, doesn't it? [ knowing you're saving someone but that they'll soon forget you, but you won't forget them. ]
Nico crouches to meet Hanako's eyes, but he has a hard time meeting them. But the shared feelings compound the ache in his chest, prickling at the back of the eyes, guilt and sorrow that churns in the pit of his stomach because it does hurt. it hurts a lot. He had tried to smile for her, their last few moments together, wanted to reassure her, to wish her a happy rest of her life.
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[ He looks up at the empty husk of a building. At least it's not on fire anymore, but iirc any sparce decorations that were inside got burnt to ashes. It's basically a step backwards, at this point. ]
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[ sometimes you just want to keep trying to access powers you don't have yet. ]
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Lots of stuff you can buy separately, though. Like candles and spiders, black paint to repaint your dorm building, and you've got your ghosts, too!
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Okay, first of all, repainting my entire dorm sounds like way more work than I want to put into this. And secondly...I don't have my ghosts yet. That's what I'm working on.
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Aw, don't say that! You have me!
[ ...who's not a ghost right now, but, technically, ]
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You are one of the few people who seems to understand certain things. I'll give you that.
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[ bc honest to god, he's been very "I don't know anything about anything" hanging out with all these people here. he never really did get out much, stuck in school for so many years ]
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What- What happened next?! Nico!
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...I summoned her again a few times after that. But she chose to be reborn before I could pull her out of the underworld. However, when I went to find her, I found Hazel instead. She's my other sister who I brought back from Asphodel.
[ so he wasn't lying when he said he did bring somebody back from the dead. he just didn't specifically bring the person he was originally looking for back. ]
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[ But why? Why not go back to the people you love? the life that you had? Does the past mean that little? ]
Why didn't your sister want to go home with you?
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...where we're from, when heroes die, they get the chance to go to Elysium. I think I told you about it before. It's a place where those who've been judged as good people can go and spend their afterlife in peace or choose to try again. For people like us, if you die three times and make it to Elysium three times, you're given the opportunity to go to the Isles of the Blest. Which is like the ultimate paradise. There's no pain and no suffering and only good things.
I think...Bianca wanted me to try and move on, and she knew she couldn't come back with me. Or, rather, that she wasn't supposed to. I've been making peace with it.
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She could have, though. You were right there, giving her that chance. How can it be paradise if you're not there with her?
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...but even before that she wanted to leave. She chose to join the Hunters and leave me behind at camp.
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Why?
[ That's not fair. this is so unfair. he's so upset on Nico's behalf, even if Nico's already made peace with it ]
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but just because he's made peace doesn't mean he doesn't miss her still. ]
...why to which? [ he says quietly, because "why" is such a large and encompassing question. ]
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[ Nico wanted her back! She had to have wanted to go back! There is literally zero reason why Nico shouldn't throw somebody else under the bus to save his sister. ]
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Usually judgment is final. That's all there is to it. Bianca made her choice, and there was nothing I or anyone else could do about it. No matter how many times I went back to look for her...she was already gone.
It was different with Hazel. I knew she didn't belong in Asphodel. And with the Doors of Death not functioning, it was easy to slip her out without my father's notice. And he never reclaimed her. She's very much alive again and living in New Rome.
[ and he'd never really dream of comparing the two...anymore. ]
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Are the Doors of Death something that can be broken again?
[ he WILL fuck up the netherworld to save a soul if he needed to ]
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...just because you've seen what you've seen doesn't mean I won't find a solution for your assistant, Hanako.
[ because...that's what this boils down to, doesn't it? ]
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[ There's only ever one reason why he's doing any of this. ]
But she's my assistant, so I want to—
[ ...help her too, except comic book panel time, of Hanako's very last memory before showing up here. ]
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me, now: aaaaHHHHHHH.
anyway. nico's just reading this comic through very, very quietly, like he senses it's something heavier and something hanako's not saying. it's funny, the dull ache in his chest he feels suddenly the longer he reads, and the frown that slowly filters onto his face as he reads from panel to panel.
and when he hits the end...well. it takes him a moment of looking at hanako as if he's trying to read him before he crouches a little to be more at his eyelevel. he still doesn't speak right away, trying to figure out the correct approach. ]
...even knowing you're doing the right thing for her. It still hurts a little, doesn't it? [ knowing you're saving someone but that they'll soon forget you, but you won't forget them. ]
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Nico crouches to meet Hanako's eyes, but he has a hard time meeting them. But the shared feelings compound the ache in his chest, prickling at the back of the eyes, guilt and sorrow that churns in the pit of his stomach because it does hurt. it hurts a lot. He had tried to smile for her, their last few moments together, wanted to reassure her, to wish her a happy rest of her life.
He should be happy.
Yashiro will be able to live.
She will forget him.
He won't ever see her again.
But she will be able to live. ]
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