I don't know about dumb. [ his emotions check with that ] It's just not something I can do, forgiving people who hurt the people I cared about. And they were supposed to be your friends, too. The way things worked out... either they knew it would hurt you and did it anyway, or they didn't care enough to think about how it would affect you, only about what they wanted. Are either of them actually sorry for what they did, or just sorry it's affecting how they're being seen by you now?
[ he grimaces and shakes his head and dismissises his growing anger because NOT THE POINT AGAIN ]
But that's me. I've done a lot of stupid shit I've been forgiven for by people who are a lot better than me, so maybe this is the same thing. I don't know.
[ he doesn't reply, but given that he's still hugging ace and he's staying quiet to listen to him it's easy enough to read that his emotions are mostly just. hurt. for various reasons. because yeah, that's the sticking point. these people were supposed to be his friends, but at the same time he kind of knew the nature of the beasts. he was aware they were both a little malicious and didn't think like normal people and had a whole lot of hang-ups and not a lot of morals. so maybe that was his own fault for bothering to try trusting things.
he knows for both hanako and danny it's the latter. neither of them cared enough to think about how it would actually affect things because neither of them are that great about thinking ahead. he can't speak for hanako, but he thinks danny might actually be sorry because of some things he's talked about. even then he's not...sure.
that's what this all is. he's not sure still. so he nods softly to show he's listening, and he doesn't reply immediately. ]
I don't really know either, I guess. Maybe that's what it all comes down to. But it's not like it'll stop me from working with either of them to finish everything anyway.
[ the emotions there are angry on nico (and other people's) behalf right now but also like. trying to be patient. this does not come naturally ]
Mm. Yeah. We've got a couple of days where you have to sort of swallow it down and work as a team until that stupid moon is gone. [ Irritation at the moon and kind of feeling tired at things. the you there is Generic you, really. ] I think forgiving people is something you have to decide if you want to do or not, you can't force it. But I don't think it's necessary even with all this. Just... professional distance or whatever.
[ another flare of tired, so, deadpan: ]
The emotion thing makes it harder than it should be.
[ ....... pets nico's hair a bit in the hug like tentative ]
[ there's another flicker of affection with the hair pets, like someone who kind of really welcomes the touch but doesn't know how to ask for it from other people. but there's another nod.]
I'm getting very tired of having things shared that I would like people to not know. First it was memories, and then thoughts, and now this. It's really annoying. [ let him hide behind his bitchiness!!! ] I'm so sick of the moon and we haven't even fought it yet. But it's the one thing that helps focus on not fighting other people or I might have to fight a few others, too. Lillium told me a few more details about what happened to him. So I also have a third person to stay away from for a little bit until it's less obvious I'm mad.
[ okay emotionshare sucks but also it's a cheat code because he's like tentative tail wag at getting affection back at the pets and does it more.
the next emotion is like Ah ]
Temenos? Lillium was pretty pissed, and Tem definitely didn't share with anyone that he helped. [ this is an easy guess because he knows temenos. ace's feeling there is understanding and also the kind of quiet That's What I Thought You'd Do You Dumb Bitch but not angry, though he doesn't blame nico for being angry. ] Good plan. He's probably exhausting to get angry at.
[ he doesn't know if the joke will help but he still makes it ]
[ emotionshare is so terrible because it's just. a dumb feedback loop of >gib affection >tentatively expresses enjoyment >tentatively gib more while also enjoying it??? especially since it means he's leaning a little more into ace's hand. will's the one who really kind of made him notice he likes having someone pet his hair and he tries not to think about the part where this was probably something he got a lot as a child when maria and bianca were both still alive. ]
Tigers, Ace. [ so yes. temenos. ] Temenos specifically made it sound as though Kogitsunemaru was the one with the drum and the one who lured Lillium into the pen after fighting him. He apologized to me for what happened to Lillium and blamed Kogitsunemaru. [ grumpy. ]
...I can't be mad anyway because Nimona really likes him, too. [ the joke does hit though because there's the very faintest hint of amusement. ]
[ yeah this is absolutely the loop because he leans into it and ace pets more with just the kind of soft fond happy feeling. sibling coded. etc. literally sibling coded because he's done this for like, luffy and uh a four year old ]
Yeah, Lillium had to reassure me he really was dead by the time they left him to the tigers. [ HE GOT. WORRIED. HE WAS EATEN ALIVE. exasperation feeling ] You should let him have it for lying, at least. He knows when he's being a shithead. I think he wants people to call him out?
[ the feeling there is ? exhaustion. he likes tem because he likes weird people, but. ]
It's one thing to not pick a fight with people for her sake, but you shouldn't hold back from being mad at all. [ ace chilled himself out a lot for luffy, so he understands why nico doesn't want to go around going bark bark!! at everybody tho ]
[ likewise he's done this for both his actual sister and nimona so you know what. sibling-coded. he is more than okay with this because the vibes settle into fond and relaxed and...safe, probably. ]
I didn't even bother asking because I feel like Lillium would sooner stab a tiger than be eaten alive. That doesn't make it any less pleasant. They could have let him die decently without being mauled further. At least we gave Albedo a proper burial. [ we, as if he had anything to do with that. ]
...I might still. I'm deciding who I do and do not want to be mad at or if I should save all of my frustrations for the moon and other things. Lillium kind of said it wasn't as big of a deal now that he made it back and I agree but it's still...frustrating. It's the same problem where it feels harder to trust outside people because everybody has their own plans.
[ outside people are people who are not in the jailbreakers or that he personally got close to. ] And I don't know if I can be that mad when Rabbits needed to kill and maybe I just didn't ask the right questions in the end.
[ hums because ace moved sigrun away from the fire for that reason, laid her to rest elsewhere, but ace wasn't trying to get away and it's hard to guess what other people were thinking. also, nico says we and ace kind of nudges him. you weren't there you rascal.
also you have no idea how like, pleased he feels at nico feeling safe, horrid ]
I dunno. I think Tem should've been honest with you after the trial, at least, but I don't think he does honest. Not really. [ there's no real judgment on either side there. ] Whatever it is, it shouldn't have been on you asking the right questions. Even if it's not a big deal, just airing it out might be good.
[ there's some like. self-deprecation: ]
But I'm the kind of guy who'd yell at anyone over their decisions, so maybe I'm not the right one to ask. I got into plenty of arguments with Pops. [ grief/guilt/love briefly, there, just at that mention ]
[ he ignores the nudge and makes a little face because he was not there, but it was his team!! he done knew!! also good he should be pleased by this. ]
It's even stupider because he approached me to apologize and because he figured out that I knew about Lillium before the trial even started. I don't mind if he doesn't really do honest. I do mind when it comes to me because I would rather not waste my time playing games with people. [ bluntly. ] If other people want to play mind games, fine. But I'm not participating.
[ so instead he will simply bitch about it and be grumpy. ]
...I mean I've gotten into way too many arguments with Hades because he refused to listen to me or budge on his own decisions. I think that's like the only normal thing about our relationship. [ fighting with your parents/parental figures...a fulfilling pastime. the mood dips to something still agitated but also...faintly wistful. he does still miss home. ]
That's why I'm saying you should call him out. [ ace is also not into mindgames, but it's because he is kind of a blunt guy himself. anyway hugs and pets for the grumpy boy, but nico's feeling wistful about hades and ace is still a little jii about the guy from nico's flashbacks, though it's just a blip of Hrm feelings ]
Maybe it is normal. Maybe your dad is kind of an ass. [ so he makes the joke but he is teasing about it instead of 100% angy ] I've spent most of my life being called a brat even after adulthood, maybe don't follow my lead on these things.
We'll see if it's worth the effort. If he continues to feign innocence I just might. [ ... ] ...he's one of the few people who knew about Will's backlash, too.
[ which is something he still has mixed feelings on even if he doesn't entirely elaborate why. still. he feels the jiiiii about hades and he kind of hides a grin in ace's shoulder because it's funny and...nobody has really expressed those kinds of feelings about hades on nico's behalf except for jason todd in a whole other timeline. ]
My father is definitely kind of an ass. [ easily agrees. ] But he truly has gotten better despite our differences still. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, by the way. All it means is that you have strong opinions and weren't afraid to express them.
[ no, it means ace was a fucking brat and in hindsight 10 year old ace is still hysterical. ]
[ YEAH ABOUT THAT there's kind of guilt and worry and he sort of noogies nico gently ]
Yeah, you could've told me about that! [ HE ALREADY DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE WILL HEAL HIM WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL HIM. he's not actually mad and he gets why he wasn't but. goddamn. this was a thing to Learn.
he does not say anything about the brat thing because he does have strong opinions and he is absolutely terrible but it's fine and 10 year old ace exists in all our hearts even if the post doesn't ]
[ MY TEN YEAR OLD ACE it's fine dw hates me personally. i understand.
anyway he half-heartedly bats at ace's hand when he does that but there's also his own guilt from that even if ace isn't actually mad about it. ]
...wasn't my secret to tell, and...um...by the time I was ready to, things had happened. [ ace literally fucking died, i had planned to actually have him mention it when he wasn't soupbrained. ] Will and I thought we could handle it ourselves. It's not as bad when it's smaller or more minor heals. And for the bigger stuff, Fox had a room set up for him in their dorm with all kinds of breakable stuff so he could work out the rage. And if we were outside, there was always the park and stuff. We'd gone there a few times. It was always something he was scared of losing control over, but I...kind of always thought I'd be there to help fix it. It's what I'd promised him.
[ so yeah. they really sat on this for eight weeks trying to make it work. ] Temenos knew and so did Vane because Vane got his healing the week we all swapped powers. I don't know if anyone else did before this weekend though.
things had happened make ace kind of wince and nod in guilt because ok, fair. he did do that. he did drown in front of god and everyone. and he goes back to petting while nico talks because he was not real mad though he is still Concern about it ]
I dunno about your side, but no one who died seemed to. We were all pretty confused what was going on. [ and concerned. did i mention concern. he's kind of like ? at when the fuck temenos learned this but doesn't ask ] Well, I already called Will out on worrying me, so I guess I can't shake him on this one too. He doesn't have that at home, right?
[ things he doesn't tell ace: saya and nimona nearly drowning trying to reach him, and temenos asking will to heal nimona despite knowing the backlash because she was drowning. the hairpets help and he's still curled up here as he kind of thinks about boxing his boyfriend around the ears for literally not telling anyone else. ]
If anyone else knew on this side, they hadn't said it to me. So I kind of doubt it. I did tell Lillium though. [ he does understand why more people don't know but again, damnit will. he shakes his head no. ] At home it's a lot more powerful, too. He doesn't really have a daily limit or anything and he doesn't have a backlash. He's our best medic. [ ...concerned...and worried. ] He's a caretaker more than anything, and he hates seeing people hurt. Generally he feels that if he can help heal, then he's going to no matter the cost. It's kind of a problem because sometimes I think he still feels like he's only his healing and nothing else, but we've been working on that. Here, it...sometimes I wouldn't stop him from minor heals or bigger ones that could be taken out on stuff easily because I knew it'd hurt him not to help when he had the capability to. It's not in his nature to ignore people.
But he's been pretty scared of hurting me because of it, so...I was trying to figure out alternate routes when I could. It's why I started buying more remedies and sticking as close to him as I could when he would heal. So I could take stock of what he was healing and how it might translate to his side effect later.
[ i mean. he knew about saya jumping in after him. he does not need to know more though nico's absolutely right.
ace keeps up the pets and just kind of listens to nico's summary of events, the vibes mostly concerned and a little sad they dealt with it themselves. this is hypocritical if ace had somethin like that he never woulda told anyone. no one needs to know that ]
This place really went all out on you guys and your powers, huh? [ turning will's against him and shoving nico into unfunny trauma powers. they're still good, but now the powers are psychologically unsound. there's a vague flare of annoyance about it. ] You both did a pretty good job hiding it and dealing with it, but it probably would've been easier if more people knew. Well, not that it matters now. [ he's not going to keep harping on that, because it happened and it's over, and they can't exactly undo not telling people. nico can box will about it ] At least now he can probably take out all his future aggressions on the moon guy.
[ so it won't be a problem until the end, ace means. ]
No wonder you were always so stressed out about him healing, though. I just thought you didn't want him to exhaust himself. He was pretty bad about that too.
[ his own vibes are a little sad, too, because this place sucks and he's still more angry on will's behalf than his own. he's pretty mad on his own behalf, too, and freshly traumatized because he did not need to actually use lightning to kill someone he loves. but he's staying here and letting ace do whatever he wants. ]
It's just another reason I've been so angry about being here without our usual abilities. And, like, being here at all. I think we both thought if people knew, they would tell him not to heal and then we wouldn't have anybody to help for those trips and we'd be in the same situation all over again. He'd be upset he couldn't help, people would be getting hurt, and we would all be messier than we were. It sucks. But I guess that's true. I don't mind setting him on the moon if that's what it takes, but...it's his choice.
[ and he sighs tiredly, a little wiggle of exhaustion and frustration following. ]
I can have multiple reasons for not wanting him to heal so much. Both of those things are true. I don't...want him burning out or being too stressed or giving too much of himself away to help others. [ what nico does not say is that usually he's the one who burns out on his powers and frequently passes out from overexertion. ] I tried to do what I could to help him relax and rest properly though.
You did a pretty good job taking care of him, considering no one had any idea. [ pet pets. ] ... You've got a couple more days, and then you guys will be back to normal. Then you two can finally take that vacation you were going to.
[ and they don't have to burn themself out and they can take a nap, is basically the emotion there ]
Well. He always takes care of me, what was I supposed to do? I was never going to leave him. [ the emotions are a little affronted, even if they're not directed at ace. ]
I think the first thing we're gonna do is check in with Mr. D and Chiron again before figuring out which of you we're gonna go see first. [ no. the first thing they're going to do really is take a nap honestly. ]
[ though talking about visiting there's a bit of relief because he does want that even if he has. no idea. how to go about moving between worlds. but also just... anxiousness. ]
Take that break first. I've... got some things to figure out before I can get visitors. [ just that sense of disbelief of. even. probably being around to have visitors. BEEN A WILD DAy ]
[ he feels the anxiety and sort of bonks his head into ace's chest like it'll help dissipate that feeling. ]
...it'll be a little jarring for you to return, I imagine. And I'm sure you'll want to catch up with Luffy before the rest of us show up anyway. [ quietly, and slightly prompting if ace feels like he wants to even bother broaching that topic. ]
... I'll have to find him first. [ hesitant, with that kind of feeling like you think you are being dumb worrying about stuff ] I don't know what's waiting for me there.
[ he knows what isn't, which is its own set of grief and guilt, but the anxiety is truly because he has no idea what the fuck is happening to the world in this one week where he is dead but maybe his body is missing? god. weird to think about. ]
No. [ frowning. frowning more. the offense kind of fades into something a little tired and guilty and anxious again, and it annoys himself ] Maybe.
[ scrubs at his face ]
I never really let myself think about what happened after I died. It didn't matter, since I was never going to see it. And now... everything involving that will be long over by the time we get there. And that's-- maybe that's the only way I get to go home at all [ to be alive ], so it's stupid to even worry about it. Better than the alternative, right? But...
[ grief and worry and guilt again ]
They went to war because of me. And I won't know what's happened to any of them until I get hold of a stupid newspaper.
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I don't know about dumb. [ his emotions check with that ] It's just not something I can do, forgiving people who hurt the people I cared about. And they were supposed to be your friends, too. The way things worked out... either they knew it would hurt you and did it anyway, or they didn't care enough to think about how it would affect you, only about what they wanted. Are either of them actually sorry for what they did, or just sorry it's affecting how they're being seen by you now?
[ he grimaces and shakes his head and dismissises his growing anger because NOT THE POINT AGAIN ]
But that's me. I've done a lot of stupid shit I've been forgiven for by people who are a lot better than me, so maybe this is the same thing. I don't know.
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he knows for both hanako and danny it's the latter. neither of them cared enough to think about how it would actually affect things because neither of them are that great about thinking ahead. he can't speak for hanako, but he thinks danny might actually be sorry because of some things he's talked about. even then he's not...sure.
that's what this all is. he's not sure still. so he nods softly to show he's listening, and he doesn't reply immediately. ]
I don't really know either, I guess. Maybe that's what it all comes down to. But it's not like it'll stop me from working with either of them to finish everything anyway.
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Mm. Yeah. We've got a couple of days where you have to sort of swallow it down and work as a team until that stupid moon is gone. [ Irritation at the moon and kind of feeling tired at things. the you there is Generic you, really. ] I think forgiving people is something you have to decide if you want to do or not, you can't force it. But I don't think it's necessary even with all this. Just... professional distance or whatever.
[ another flare of tired, so, deadpan: ]
The emotion thing makes it harder than it should be.
[ ....... pets nico's hair a bit in the hug like tentative ]
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I'm getting very tired of having things shared that I would like people to not know. First it was memories, and then thoughts, and now this. It's really annoying. [ let him hide behind his bitchiness!!! ] I'm so sick of the moon and we haven't even fought it yet. But it's the one thing that helps focus on not fighting other people or I might have to fight a few others, too. Lillium told me a few more details about what happened to him. So I also have a third person to stay away from for a little bit until it's less obvious I'm mad.
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the next emotion is like Ah ]
Temenos? Lillium was pretty pissed, and Tem definitely didn't share with anyone that he helped. [ this is an easy guess because he knows temenos. ace's feeling there is understanding and also the kind of quiet That's What I Thought You'd Do You Dumb Bitch but not angry, though he doesn't blame nico for being angry. ] Good plan. He's probably exhausting to get angry at.
[ he doesn't know if the joke will help but he still makes it ]
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Tigers, Ace. [ so yes. temenos. ] Temenos specifically made it sound as though Kogitsunemaru was the one with the drum and the one who lured Lillium into the pen after fighting him. He apologized to me for what happened to Lillium and blamed Kogitsunemaru. [ grumpy. ]
...I can't be mad anyway because Nimona really likes him, too. [ the joke does hit though because there's the very faintest hint of amusement. ]
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Yeah, Lillium had to reassure me he really was dead by the time they left him to the tigers. [ HE GOT. WORRIED. HE WAS EATEN ALIVE. exasperation feeling ] You should let him have it for lying, at least. He knows when he's being a shithead. I think he wants people to call him out?
[ the feeling there is ? exhaustion. he likes tem because he likes weird people, but. ]
It's one thing to not pick a fight with people for her sake, but you shouldn't hold back from being mad at all. [ ace chilled himself out a lot for luffy, so he understands why nico doesn't want to go around going bark bark!! at everybody tho ]
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I didn't even bother asking because I feel like Lillium would sooner stab a tiger than be eaten alive. That doesn't make it any less pleasant. They could have let him die decently without being mauled further. At least we gave Albedo a proper burial. [ we, as if he had anything to do with that. ]
...I might still. I'm deciding who I do and do not want to be mad at or if I should save all of my frustrations for the moon and other things. Lillium kind of said it wasn't as big of a deal now that he made it back and I agree but it's still...frustrating. It's the same problem where it feels harder to trust outside people because everybody has their own plans.
[ outside people are people who are not in the jailbreakers or that he personally got close to. ] And I don't know if I can be that mad when Rabbits needed to kill and maybe I just didn't ask the right questions in the end.
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also you have no idea how like, pleased he feels at nico feeling safe, horrid ]
I dunno. I think Tem should've been honest with you after the trial, at least, but I don't think he does honest. Not really. [ there's no real judgment on either side there. ] Whatever it is, it shouldn't have been on you asking the right questions. Even if it's not a big deal, just airing it out might be good.
[ there's some like. self-deprecation: ]
But I'm the kind of guy who'd yell at anyone over their decisions, so maybe I'm not the right one to ask. I got into plenty of arguments with Pops. [ grief/guilt/love briefly, there, just at that mention ]
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It's even stupider because he approached me to apologize and because he figured out that I knew about Lillium before the trial even started. I don't mind if he doesn't really do honest. I do mind when it comes to me because I would rather not waste my time playing games with people. [ bluntly. ] If other people want to play mind games, fine. But I'm not participating.
[ so instead he will simply bitch about it and be grumpy. ]
...I mean I've gotten into way too many arguments with Hades because he refused to listen to me or budge on his own decisions. I think that's like the only normal thing about our relationship. [ fighting with your parents/parental figures...a fulfilling pastime. the mood dips to something still agitated but also...faintly wistful. he does still miss home. ]
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Maybe it is normal. Maybe your dad is kind of an ass. [ so he makes the joke but he is teasing about it instead of 100% angy ] I've spent most of my life being called a brat even after adulthood, maybe don't follow my lead on these things.
[ fuckin old people ]
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[ which is something he still has mixed feelings on even if he doesn't entirely elaborate why. still. he feels the jiiiii about hades and he kind of hides a grin in ace's shoulder because it's funny and...nobody has really expressed those kinds of feelings about hades on nico's behalf
except for jason todd in a whole other timeline.]My father is definitely kind of an ass. [ easily agrees. ] But he truly has gotten better despite our differences still. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, by the way. All it means is that you have strong opinions and weren't afraid to express them.
[ no, it means ace was a fucking brat and in hindsight 10 year old ace is still hysterical. ]
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Yeah, you could've told me about that! [ HE ALREADY DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE WILL HEAL HIM WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL HIM. he's not actually mad and he gets why he wasn't but. goddamn. this was a thing to Learn.
he does not say anything about the brat thing because he does have strong opinions and he is absolutely terrible but it's fine and 10 year old ace exists in all our hearts even if the post doesn't ]
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anyway he half-heartedly bats at ace's hand when he does that but there's also his own guilt from that even if ace isn't actually mad about it. ]
...wasn't my secret to tell, and...um...by the time I was ready to, things had happened. [ ace literally fucking died, i had planned to actually have him mention it when he wasn't soupbrained. ] Will and I thought we could handle it ourselves. It's not as bad when it's smaller or more minor heals. And for the bigger stuff, Fox had a room set up for him in their dorm with all kinds of breakable stuff so he could work out the rage. And if we were outside, there was always the park and stuff. We'd gone there a few times. It was always something he was scared of losing control over, but I...kind of always thought I'd be there to help fix it. It's what I'd promised him.
[ so yeah. they really sat on this for eight weeks trying to make it work. ] Temenos knew and so did Vane because Vane got his healing the week we all swapped powers. I don't know if anyone else did before this weekend though.
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things had happened make ace kind of wince and nod in guilt because ok, fair. he did do that. he did drown in front of god and everyone. and he goes back to petting while nico talks because he was not real mad though he is still Concern about it ]
I dunno about your side, but no one who died seemed to. We were all pretty confused what was going on. [ and concerned. did i mention concern. he's kind of like ? at when the fuck temenos learned this but doesn't ask ] Well, I already called Will out on worrying me, so I guess I can't shake him on this one too. He doesn't have that at home, right?
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If anyone else knew on this side, they hadn't said it to me. So I kind of doubt it. I did tell Lillium though. [ he does understand why more people don't know but again, damnit will. he shakes his head no. ] At home it's a lot more powerful, too. He doesn't really have a daily limit or anything and he doesn't have a backlash. He's our best medic. [ ...concerned...and worried. ] He's a caretaker more than anything, and he hates seeing people hurt. Generally he feels that if he can help heal, then he's going to no matter the cost. It's kind of a problem because sometimes I think he still feels like he's only his healing and nothing else, but we've been working on that. Here, it...sometimes I wouldn't stop him from minor heals or bigger ones that could be taken out on stuff easily because I knew it'd hurt him not to help when he had the capability to. It's not in his nature to ignore people.
But he's been pretty scared of hurting me because of it, so...I was trying to figure out alternate routes when I could. It's why I started buying more remedies and sticking as close to him as I could when he would heal. So I could take stock of what he was healing and how it might translate to his side effect later.
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ace keeps up the pets and just kind of listens to nico's summary of events, the vibes mostly concerned and a little sad they dealt with it themselves. this is hypocritical if ace had somethin like that he never woulda told anyone. no one needs to know that ]
This place really went all out on you guys and your powers, huh? [ turning will's against him and shoving nico into unfunny trauma powers. they're still good, but now the powers are psychologically unsound. there's a vague flare of annoyance about it. ] You both did a pretty good job hiding it and dealing with it, but it probably would've been easier if more people knew. Well, not that it matters now. [ he's not going to keep harping on that, because it happened and it's over, and they can't exactly undo not telling people. nico can box will about it ] At least now he can probably take out all his future aggressions on the moon guy.
[ so it won't be a problem until the end, ace means. ]
No wonder you were always so stressed out about him healing, though. I just thought you didn't want him to exhaust himself. He was pretty bad about that too.
[ #shaming ]
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It's just another reason I've been so angry about being here without our usual abilities. And, like, being here at all. I think we both thought if people knew, they would tell him not to heal and then we wouldn't have anybody to help for those trips and we'd be in the same situation all over again. He'd be upset he couldn't help, people would be getting hurt, and we would all be messier than we were. It sucks. But I guess that's true. I don't mind setting him on the moon if that's what it takes, but...it's his choice.
[ and he sighs tiredly, a little wiggle of exhaustion and frustration following. ]
I can have multiple reasons for not wanting him to heal so much. Both of those things are true. I don't...want him burning out or being too stressed or giving too much of himself away to help others. [ what nico does not say is that usually he's the one who burns out on his powers and frequently passes out from overexertion. ] I tried to do what I could to help him relax and rest properly though.
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[ and they don't have to burn themself out and they can take a nap, is basically the emotion there ]
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I think the first thing we're gonna do is check in with Mr. D and Chiron again before figuring out which of you we're gonna go see first. [ no. the first thing they're going to do really is take a nap honestly. ]
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[ though talking about visiting there's a bit of relief because he does want that even if he has. no idea. how to go about moving between worlds. but also just... anxiousness. ]
Take that break first. I've... got some things to figure out before I can get visitors. [ just that sense of disbelief of. even. probably being around to have visitors. BEEN A WILD DAy ]
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...it'll be a little jarring for you to return, I imagine. And I'm sure you'll want to catch up with Luffy before the rest of us show up anyway. [ quietly, and slightly prompting if ace feels like he wants to even bother broaching that topic. ]
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... I'll have to find him first. [ hesitant, with that kind of feeling like you think you are being dumb worrying about stuff ] I don't know what's waiting for me there.
[ he knows what isn't, which is its own set of grief and guilt, but the anxiety is truly because he has no idea what the fuck is happening to the world in this one week where he is dead but maybe his body is missing? god. weird to think about. ]
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Are you scared? [ he just outright asks, because he thinks maybe nobody actually has yet. ]
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No. [ frowning. frowning more. the offense kind of fades into something a little tired and guilty and anxious again, and it annoys himself ] Maybe.
[ scrubs at his face ]
I never really let myself think about what happened after I died. It didn't matter, since I was never going to see it. And now... everything involving that will be long over by the time we get there. And that's-- maybe that's the only way I get to go home at all [ to be alive ], so it's stupid to even worry about it. Better than the alternative, right? But...
[ grief and worry and guilt again ]
They went to war because of me. And I won't know what's happened to any of them until I get hold of a stupid newspaper.
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