I just... got a note. It implied I either killed now, or my entire team's worlds were forfeit. Something like that. [ he sighs a little ] ... Probably it wasn't true, but.
...but it'd be worse not to believe it and have something actually happen. Just like with all the other notes. [ ... ] That's...you really didn't even have a choice then.
... There's always a choice, Nico. [ even if it doesn't seem like it, ace knew he was making one. just like he knew he was making one when he decided to not hide his murder at all. ]
...I know, but at the same time I don't think it's a real choice to force someone's hand with threats. Of course you could have chosen not to act. But then it's damning whole worlds and people instead of just one. But by going through with it...this happens.
[ so it's not fair to anybody. it's not fair to sigrun, it's not fair to ace, it's not fair to them who ace and sigrun are leaving behind...nobody. ]
... Maybe. Maybe none of the threats were even real. [ it's tiring to even admit it, and he sort of breathes out lowly ] There weren't any good choices, but I still made mine knowing the consequences.
[ ...he just pulls his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them to look at him again. ]
We don't get the luxury of good choices here. And the ones we do get to make...[ are so easy to lose. but he doesn't finish that sentence, something old and tired in his expression. ] What're you sorry for?
... Well, I don't think Sigrun ever really had a chance against me. [ THAT'S RUDE AND CONCEITED, but; ] I think the method isn't what matters. It's just not having someone around that hurts.
... I'm a pretty messed up guy. [ he admits that softly, looking at the floor like it's a confession ] Even though I should feel guilty, and I don't want you guys hurt... Knowing you'd want me around enough to be upset by it, it kind of makes me happy.
[ he ends up laughing, even if it sounds watery and kind of broken. ]
You're such an idiot. You and Reigen both, I don't understand how either of you could ever think we wouldn't want you here with us. Or what you actually mean to people. It's not like we aren't all pretty messed up either. [ ... ] It's exactly why it hurts though, yeah.
Like I said, he's stupid, too, for never fully realizing how much we needed him. [ ... ] His letter was...hard to read, but I think he wanted to make sure we all knew in the end. But it's the same for me. This place is...awful and I want to go home but...you guys have been worth it. Figuring everything out, trying to find a way together. I didn't think...I'd meet other people who understood the way you guys do.
... I know you wouldn't. And I'm not saying you should, either. [ he tilts his head a little. he'd be the same way, is the thing, so can he really blame nico for not wanting to think of the alternative? ] ... If there is another side, and there's anything I can do from there, I'll try too.
I know you will. [ because he knows ace is similar to himself that way. neither of them are great at giving up when they probably should. ] ...if you're really going where the rest are...you'll have Reigen. And Norma and Chiemi are there. Mika, too. Sigrun will likely help if you ask, even after all of this. And make sure to take care of Whisper. And see if Rocket's behaving.
... I'll keep track of everyone. [ if it's a thing, which he has trouble believing, but he won't share that. ] And... I'll see about those newspaper letters, too.
Thank you. [ but...he bows his head again. ] Not that it matters at all right now. None of that matters to me. You're still here, so...I want you to be able to spend time with us while you can. Even if it's still back here.
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...what do you mean though? What actually happened?
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[ but. he shrugs ]
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...but it'd be worse not to believe it and have something actually happen. Just like with all the other notes. [ ... ] That's...you really didn't even have a choice then.
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[ so it's not fair to anybody. it's not fair to sigrun, it's not fair to ace, it's not fair to them who ace and sigrun are leaving behind...nobody. ]
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[ to himself and to others. which is why-- ]
I'm sorry.
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We don't get the luxury of good choices here. And the ones we do get to make...[ are so easy to lose. but he doesn't finish that sentence, something old and tired in his expression. ] What're you sorry for?
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...I'm not sure what would hurt worse. Losing you like we lost Reigen, or losing you tomorrow like we're going to.
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I can't say one way or another. [ about fighting. but... ] ...lucky me, I've had practice. So I can at least...try to help everyone tomorrow.
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[ cool he just looks sad and guilty about it, looking down ]
...I... Nico. [ a little helplessly. ]
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Sorry, no, that's not...I didn't mean it like that. I just meant...it'll be really hard on some people and I...
[ well no nothing he says is going to be good, he's just fumbling instead. ]
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oh man what if it isn't..... no not the time worms ]
... I get it.
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...I don't want you to go. [ just to make that clear. ] But I don't want you to feel guilty about it when your hands were tied.
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You're such an idiot. You and Reigen both, I don't understand how either of you could ever think we wouldn't want you here with us. Or what you actually mean to people. It's not like we aren't all pretty messed up either. [ ... ] It's exactly why it hurts though, yeah.
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[ and that's maybe why it's so hard now. ]
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[ because he thinks will and nico definitely, definitely deserve to go home. but. ]
A bunch of misfits ending up together... Pops would probably find it funny. It's the same thing he did.
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Don't say that like we're giving up on you guys already though. We're not leaving anyone behind, even if we're separated for a little while.
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[ there are others, too, but...you know.]
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[ bookends, really. ]
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