[ oh he wasnt sure nico would want the hug so the vibes are surprised pikachu and then fondness when he returns it. absolutely no sheepishness about his shitty joke ]
Sorry I left. [ it's a simple sentiment for a bigger set of guilt, but whatever; ] You've had a couple of rough weeks, huh?
[ unfortunately for ace now he's trapped because nico has zero intention of letting go for a bit. mostly for the mentioned reason. it's been a couple of rough weeks that he's still...
...everyone came back. so things are okay again. except those weeks still happened. ]
You came back, so...important distinction from other times people have left. [ the emotional feedback is just...heavy, mostly. it's not quite sad and it's not quite anger, it's just something worn down and a little depressed as usual. ] It's kind of funny. I always thought that maybe it couldn't get much worse, and then it always did. But it's fine because everybody's back and safe for now.
[ well. he's very fine being trapped, and nico's getting some little hesitant backrubs about it. nico's vibes are heavy and ace's are still a little anxious and. uh. also depressed but that's just his generic vibes, but overall it's mostly that concern and affection right now ]
Mm, well. Mostly fine. This stuff still happened. [ ace doesn't linger on the past but he doesn't ignore it either, so... ] You guys were really worrying me for a while back there.
[ he says you guys because it was for a lot of them and also because he doesn't know if nico would appreciate ace singling him out ]
[ weirdly he is fine with that. nico di angelo usually is fussy about being touched except in the instances where it's people he adores and trusts. ace fits that bill like a few others. they can be anxious and depressed together though. ]
...yeah. It did. [ which sort of hits the main nail on the head. stuff happened a lot and those memories and experiences still stick even if the death didn't. nico tries not to linger on the past as much anymore but he's not always good at it either. and immediately the vibes shift to...a little guilty and ashamed. ]
It's been a lot of weird stuff since you guys left. [ weird is a generous word for traumatic. ] I don't even know how much you saw.
[ no the concern only grows at the vibes being guilty and ashamed!! ]
Hmm... Executions and trials were the most constant. But I saw your Halloween and boat parties. [ a beat ] And the... special job thing yesterday.
[ [p4 hiimdaisy voice] hanako. anyway he's not going to make nico talk, but his vibes are now kind of a little patient, like seeing what he wants to even say about the past few weeks ]
[ some good things and some bad things then. he doesn't really know where to go with that, and he picks up on patient vibes that aren't his own and he seems to frown a little. ]
...if Jolyne hadn't figured out what was going to happen and hadn't come through for us, the last couple of days would have gone very, very differently. [ carefully, and his emotions seem to fizzle out like he's purposefully working on hiding them. ] I wouldn't necessarily say in a good way either.
[ there's kind of something exhausted and relieved thinking about that ]
It would've been bad. Pretty much everyone was really glad Will walked out of that okay. [ he pauses, and there's something a little wary and like tamped down anger because he knows nico and will have a lot... more rights... to be angry about this ] You got any idea why the hell Hanako voted for him a billion times?
...if he hadn't, I probably would've seen you sooner than today anyway. [ he has said this to only a few select people (will himself included), but. you know. he's still kind of desperately clinging to ace in this hug, but he does turn his head to look at the ocean for a moment. there's just...angry, buzzing kind of static then. ]
Probably to save his own skin since he controlled Vane into killing Danny and then killed Vane. ...Nimona said he was worried about the quota getting filled, and that maybe Hanako thought it'd only count if Will got caught. But that it could've been he didn't wan to get caught himself. Or he just didn't think about it. I don't know. I'm avoiding him because I don't trust myself at the moment which I do understand is slightly hypocritical since I don't know if I would be this angry if it wasn't Will, but...whatever.
[ just-- he holds nico a little tighter at that, a jolt of fear and worry and concern flashing, but also just... pure, sad understanding.
if it hadn't been for a little brother like you-- well. anyway. that was years ago. ]
It's not hypocritical. [ well, maybe it is, but; ] We've all got people we care about more than others. Even if there was a good reason, [ the feeling there is, uh, doubt ] it's stupid to pretend you're not angry because it happened to someone you care about.
[ the fact is ace expected people, sigrun included, to be mad at him for picking her, because no matter the reasoning it was still a shitty thing to do. it's why he gets why nico was mad at kogitsunemaru, why lillium is still mad at being killed-- ace gets revenge and he gets caring about people and he doesn't do compartmentalizing his feelings for Logic or the Greater Good or anything like that, so why the hell would he think it's hypocritical of nico to also not do so? ]
He could've killed Will with that stunt. [ more than that, he would've been indirectly responsible for making nico kill will, which ace doesn't point out ] I'd be shocked you weren't mad at him.
[ sometimes you just have one person you dedicate your whole life to, and the idea of that person not being in your life is too painful to stand. nico's not a stranger to loss, but losing will would've shattered him beyond repair. even if it would have only been for a few days. he has to remind himself that will's still here and nothing happened.
but he nods to what ace says. everyone has people to care about and people they care about more than others. he could say something about biases, but he doesn't because ace has a point. it's stupid regardless to pretend he wasn't mad about several things in the last several weeks.
that. is a thought he is aware of, too, but doesn't voice out loud. hanako could have killed will and nico would have been responsible. if it weren't for jolyne's save, he would have electrocuted will and been the one to take his life. the idea kind of still makes him want to throw up if he thinks too long about it, so he tries not to. instead, he takes a few breaths before speaking. ]
...I'm trying not to be mad around Nimona. I know it's hard on her having to figure out where to stand on this. And other stuff we haven't been unanimous about.
[ things they haven't been unanimous about, huh. ace kind of hums at that. i think it's funny that they are just clinging to each other on the beach and talking about this stuff. it's fine. hugging forever. ]
Anything else I should know about besides Danny? [ head tilted. it's a quiet kind of curiosity, and the feeling when he mentions danny is... mostly irritation on his part. ]
No. That's the main one. He told both of us last Sunday, but I'd already suspected because neither of you are very subtle. [ calmly. ] ...she's pretty mad at him still and I don't blame her. I would never blame her. But...he told me that it wasn't his decision. I think that changes things a little for me, but I know she's not there yet and may never be. Even knowing that, it...was hard losing you both at the same time and knowing it was Danny's fault.
[ he's feeling very neutral about that on purpose, tempering himself, except he gets kind of Angy when nico mentions it wasn't danny's decision, so: ]
Yeah, that was Tiger's call. [ DEADPAN!!! ] Or whatever mysterious being they were answering to, I guess. Not that Tiger was too broken up about it.
[ ANYWAY he shakes his head and huffs ]
... Look, I'm not a forgiving guy. I can't tell you what to do. If you want to forgive him, that's your call. Reigen's not holding a grudge, and I don't really care about him naming me. I was sort of trying to get caught anyway. [ ...sort of. ] Though what really pissed me off was the way he lied to you guys about it and pretended.
[ But This Isn't About Danny Or Tiger Or Anyone; ]
I don't think we've got to be unanimous about this stuff.
[ there's a sharp flash of anger when ace says that. ]
I'd wondered when he told me he wasn't allowed to explain further or he'd be punished. I don't care if another being told Tiger to tell Danny, as our "leaders" they should have made a better call to protect their team. That's what you do as an actual leader.
[ UGH. but he just...pauses and chews on his lip while ace talks because he knows. ]
...I'm still trying to figure out how to feel about stuff. I'd offered to let Danny come home with us, same as Nimona, and now I'm trying to figure out how to honor both of those promises without hurting either of them. [ there's a faint wave of sadness when ace mentions he was sort of trying to get caught because fuck off, ace. ] I already had that conversation with him, too. Amongst other things. We've talked a lot about his situation and I get it, but it's...complicated.
[ he frowns deeply, and the emotions flicker back to uneasy and nervous. ]
Even if it's not unanimous, I don't want to make things worse.
[ there's a hum and a feeling that's very much agreement at the first part. and definitely some guilt at the sadness, but we don't talk about that, because his emotions go a little nervous and sheepish and anxious then ]
You might not have to worry about that. [ and, god, this is about nico so he feels silly for even getting into it, but; ] ... If time's no longer frozen back home, then... if I go back... [ there's a flash of grief and nervousness and guilt that has nothing to do with what he's about to say and just the scenario, but: ] I asked Nimona to come with me, if she wanted.
[ because if ace comes back a week after he left then the war is over and he'd... be alive. ]
[ unfortunately the response is immediately so disjointed it's impossible to pick up on what the emotion is supposed to be.
but it's forced back into something calm and easy when he speaks again. ]
...oh. She does want that. She told me before she wanted to be a pirate and stay with you. You'll have Saya, too. So...you have to take care of them, okay?
[ and take care of himself, but he doesn't think he has to say that. ]
[ SORRY THE SURPRISE PIKACHU AT SHE TOLD ME IS REAL he did not think it was that intense a want she'd talk about it with other people anyway moving on he kind of feels very hesitant when nico's reaction is disjointed even if it settles ]
I'd invite you too, but you and Will kind of have a home to get back to. [ is what he says, first, a light joke even if his feelings are still kind of vague anxiousness ] I...
[ well. he shakes his head and kind of shoves feeling back inside where they belong ]
Besides all that, you're not going to make things worse by having different opinions on this stuff. You guys were affected in different ways, of course you won't react the same. Luffy and I don't get the same level of upset about the same stuff either.
[ casually comparing them like that because they are also siblings thanks ]
[ the disjointed feeling is because he does actually acknowledge they have a very sibling relationship and his first response was panic and being upset he really might not get to see either of them again. but then it was shame for being upset. and then happiness they'd be together and obviously relief and excitement about ace getting to go home at all and nimona and saya to have a new chance and wasn't that all that mattered anyway? even if it wasn't with him, as long as it's at all he can't complain much.
but his emotions are carefully being woven back into something quiet and kind of vibrating a little. ]
I already told her we'd be working on a way to figure out how to come visit other people anyway. We were gonna find your boat, and then go to Seasoning City to see Reigen and meet Mob. As soon as we get the stupid book, I'm writing our ending in it to make it reality.
[ but he shrugs to the rest. ] It makes her upset when she can't pick a side on stuff and I'm tired of upsetting people, so. I know how to handle things like this better, and it's my responsibility to try and help her. Even though of course you're right. It's just...how things are.
[ nimona's literally like a thousand years older than he is, not to mention actually teenage older, but he still has assigned himself as her older brother. ]
[ teasing. ace is just like anxious about life it's fine. and also worried about not seeing everyone else again a lot, so there's a sense of relief about nico saying they'd find a way to visit other worlds. IT WAS EASIER TO ACCEPT NEVER SEEING PEOPLE AGAIN WHEN HE THOUGHT HE'D BE DEAD FOR IT
but also, frowning with a little exasperation at the rest ]
It doesn't have to be how things are. You're always trying to take on everything because you think it's easier for you. [ bonks his head gently ] She'd feel bad knowing this was stressing you out, so just talk things out.
Nope, we were going to crash your boat into his office. [ hehe. but he just shrugs about that again and seems to be lost in thought for a moment. ]
We kind of tried to talk about the Hanako thing and it was just upsetting her so I stopped. And I know why it was upsetting her because I was still mad and she couldn't entirely be, but she's more mad about the Danny thing than I am because we know these people better and I don't know. Trying to be friends with everyone actually is extremely complicated. [ does not address how he takes on everything himself, they don't need to acknowledge that. ]
I'm not going to stop you. [ mildly. ] Letting my anger go unchecked usually ends really, really badly for other people and no matter how mad I really am I don't want to actually kill anybody.
[ ... ]
Do you think it's dumb to consider forgiving them?
I don't know about dumb. [ his emotions check with that ] It's just not something I can do, forgiving people who hurt the people I cared about. And they were supposed to be your friends, too. The way things worked out... either they knew it would hurt you and did it anyway, or they didn't care enough to think about how it would affect you, only about what they wanted. Are either of them actually sorry for what they did, or just sorry it's affecting how they're being seen by you now?
[ he grimaces and shakes his head and dismissises his growing anger because NOT THE POINT AGAIN ]
But that's me. I've done a lot of stupid shit I've been forgiven for by people who are a lot better than me, so maybe this is the same thing. I don't know.
[ he doesn't reply, but given that he's still hugging ace and he's staying quiet to listen to him it's easy enough to read that his emotions are mostly just. hurt. for various reasons. because yeah, that's the sticking point. these people were supposed to be his friends, but at the same time he kind of knew the nature of the beasts. he was aware they were both a little malicious and didn't think like normal people and had a whole lot of hang-ups and not a lot of morals. so maybe that was his own fault for bothering to try trusting things.
he knows for both hanako and danny it's the latter. neither of them cared enough to think about how it would actually affect things because neither of them are that great about thinking ahead. he can't speak for hanako, but he thinks danny might actually be sorry because of some things he's talked about. even then he's not...sure.
that's what this all is. he's not sure still. so he nods softly to show he's listening, and he doesn't reply immediately. ]
I don't really know either, I guess. Maybe that's what it all comes down to. But it's not like it'll stop me from working with either of them to finish everything anyway.
[ the emotions there are angry on nico (and other people's) behalf right now but also like. trying to be patient. this does not come naturally ]
Mm. Yeah. We've got a couple of days where you have to sort of swallow it down and work as a team until that stupid moon is gone. [ Irritation at the moon and kind of feeling tired at things. the you there is Generic you, really. ] I think forgiving people is something you have to decide if you want to do or not, you can't force it. But I don't think it's necessary even with all this. Just... professional distance or whatever.
[ another flare of tired, so, deadpan: ]
The emotion thing makes it harder than it should be.
[ ....... pets nico's hair a bit in the hug like tentative ]
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Sorry I left. [ it's a simple sentiment for a bigger set of guilt, but whatever; ] You've had a couple of rough weeks, huh?
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...everyone came back. so things are okay again. except those weeks still happened. ]
You came back, so...important distinction from other times people have left. [ the emotional feedback is just...heavy, mostly. it's not quite sad and it's not quite anger, it's just something worn down and a little depressed as usual. ] It's kind of funny. I always thought that maybe it couldn't get much worse, and then it always did. But it's fine because everybody's back and safe for now.
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Mm, well. Mostly fine. This stuff still happened. [ ace doesn't linger on the past but he doesn't ignore it either, so... ] You guys were really worrying me for a while back there.
[ he says you guys because it was for a lot of them and also because he doesn't know if nico would appreciate ace singling him out ]
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...yeah. It did. [ which sort of hits the main nail on the head. stuff happened a lot and those memories and experiences still stick even if the death didn't. nico tries not to linger on the past as much anymore but he's not always good at it either. and immediately the vibes shift to...a little guilty and ashamed. ]
It's been a lot of weird stuff since you guys left. [ weird is a generous word for traumatic. ] I don't even know how much you saw.
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Hmm... Executions and trials were the most constant. But I saw your Halloween and boat parties. [ a beat ] And the... special job thing yesterday.
[ [p4 hiimdaisy voice] hanako. anyway he's not going to make nico talk, but his vibes are now kind of a little patient, like seeing what he wants to even say about the past few weeks ]
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...if Jolyne hadn't figured out what was going to happen and hadn't come through for us, the last couple of days would have gone very, very differently. [ carefully, and his emotions seem to fizzle out like he's purposefully working on hiding them. ] I wouldn't necessarily say in a good way either.
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It would've been bad. Pretty much everyone was really glad Will walked out of that okay. [ he pauses, and there's something a little wary and like tamped down anger because he knows nico and will have a lot... more rights... to be angry about this ] You got any idea why the hell Hanako voted for him a billion times?
[ six, but like. it's a billion. ]
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Probably to save his own skin since he controlled Vane into killing Danny and then killed Vane. ...Nimona said he was worried about the quota getting filled, and that maybe Hanako thought it'd only count if Will got caught. But that it could've been he didn't wan to get caught himself. Or he just didn't think about it. I don't know. I'm avoiding him because I don't trust myself at the moment which I do understand is slightly hypocritical since I don't know if I would be this angry if it wasn't Will, but...whatever.
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if it hadn't been for a little brother like you-- well. anyway. that was years ago. ]
It's not hypocritical. [ well, maybe it is, but; ] We've all got people we care about more than others. Even if there was a good reason, [ the feeling there is, uh, doubt ] it's stupid to pretend you're not angry because it happened to someone you care about.
[ the fact is ace expected people, sigrun included, to be mad at him for picking her, because no matter the reasoning it was still a shitty thing to do. it's why he gets why nico was mad at kogitsunemaru, why lillium is still mad at being killed-- ace gets revenge and he gets caring about people and he doesn't do compartmentalizing his feelings for Logic or the Greater Good or anything like that, so why the hell would he think it's hypocritical of nico to also not do so? ]
He could've killed Will with that stunt. [ more than that, he would've been indirectly responsible for making nico kill will, which ace doesn't point out ] I'd be shocked you weren't mad at him.
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but he nods to what ace says. everyone has people to care about and people they care about more than others. he could say something about biases, but he doesn't because ace has a point. it's stupid regardless to pretend he wasn't mad about several things in the last several weeks.
that. is a thought he is aware of, too, but doesn't voice out loud. hanako could have killed will and nico would have been responsible. if it weren't for jolyne's save, he would have electrocuted will and been the one to take his life. the idea kind of still makes him want to throw up if he thinks too long about it, so he tries not to. instead, he takes a few breaths before speaking. ]
...I'm trying not to be mad around Nimona. I know it's hard on her having to figure out where to stand on this. And other stuff we haven't been unanimous about.
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Anything else I should know about besides Danny? [ head tilted. it's a quiet kind of curiosity, and the feeling when he mentions danny is... mostly irritation on his part. ]
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Yeah, that was Tiger's call. [ DEADPAN!!! ] Or whatever mysterious being they were answering to, I guess. Not that Tiger was too broken up about it.
[ ANYWAY he shakes his head and huffs ]
... Look, I'm not a forgiving guy. I can't tell you what to do. If you want to forgive him, that's your call. Reigen's not holding a grudge, and I don't really care about him naming me. I was sort of trying to get caught anyway. [ ...sort of. ] Though what really pissed me off was the way he lied to you guys about it and pretended.
[ But This Isn't About Danny Or Tiger Or Anyone; ]
I don't think we've got to be unanimous about this stuff.
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I'd wondered when he told me he wasn't allowed to explain further or he'd be punished. I don't care if another being told Tiger to tell Danny, as our "leaders" they should have made a better call to protect their team. That's what you do as an actual leader.
[ UGH. but he just...pauses and chews on his lip while ace talks because he knows. ]
...I'm still trying to figure out how to feel about stuff. I'd offered to let Danny come home with us, same as Nimona, and now I'm trying to figure out how to honor both of those promises without hurting either of them. [ there's a faint wave of sadness when ace mentions he was sort of trying to get caught because fuck off, ace. ] I already had that conversation with him, too. Amongst other things. We've talked a lot about his situation and I get it, but it's...complicated.
[ he frowns deeply, and the emotions flicker back to uneasy and nervous. ]
Even if it's not unanimous, I don't want to make things worse.
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You might not have to worry about that. [ and, god, this is about nico so he feels silly for even getting into it, but; ] ... If time's no longer frozen back home, then... if I go back... [ there's a flash of grief and nervousness and guilt that has nothing to do with what he's about to say and just the scenario, but: ] I asked Nimona to come with me, if she wanted.
[ because if ace comes back a week after he left then the war is over and he'd... be alive. ]
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but it's forced back into something calm and easy when he speaks again. ]
...oh. She does want that. She told me before she wanted to be a pirate and stay with you. You'll have Saya, too. So...you have to take care of them, okay?
[ and take care of himself, but he doesn't think he has to say that. ]
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I'd invite you too, but you and Will kind of have a home to get back to. [ is what he says, first, a light joke even if his feelings are still kind of vague anxiousness ] I...
[ well. he shakes his head and kind of shoves feeling back inside where they belong ]
Besides all that, you're not going to make things worse by having different opinions on this stuff. You guys were affected in different ways, of course you won't react the same. Luffy and I don't get the same level of upset about the same stuff either.
[ casually comparing them like that because they are also siblings thanks ]
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but his emotions are carefully being woven back into something quiet and kind of vibrating a little. ]
I already told her we'd be working on a way to figure out how to come visit other people anyway. We were gonna find your boat, and then go to Seasoning City to see Reigen and meet Mob. As soon as we get the stupid book, I'm writing our ending in it to make it reality.
[ but he shrugs to the rest. ] It makes her upset when she can't pick a side on stuff and I'm tired of upsetting people, so. I know how to handle things like this better, and it's my responsibility to try and help her. Even though of course you're right. It's just...how things are.
[ nimona's literally like a thousand years older than he is, not to mention actually teenage older, but he still has assigned himself as her older brother. ]
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[ teasing. ace is just like anxious about life it's fine. and also worried about not seeing everyone else again a lot, so there's a sense of relief about nico saying they'd find a way to visit other worlds. IT WAS EASIER TO ACCEPT NEVER SEEING PEOPLE AGAIN WHEN HE THOUGHT HE'D BE DEAD FOR IT
but also, frowning with a little exasperation at the rest ]
It doesn't have to be how things are. You're always trying to take on everything because you think it's easier for you. [ bonks his head gently ] She'd feel bad knowing this was stressing you out, so just talk things out.
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We kind of tried to talk about the Hanako thing and it was just upsetting her so I stopped. And I know why it was upsetting her because I was still mad and she couldn't entirely be, but she's more mad about the Danny thing than I am because we know these people better and I don't know. Trying to be friends with everyone actually is extremely complicated. [ does not address how he takes on everything himself, they don't need to acknowledge that. ]
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[ absolutely deadpan and it's like, half truthful and half kidding. but like. children should be beat he's agreeing with his grandfather now ]
I don't think you guys need to be friends with everyone, but I think both of you are a lot more forgiving than I am anyway.
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[ ... ]
Do you think it's dumb to consider forgiving them?
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I don't know about dumb. [ his emotions check with that ] It's just not something I can do, forgiving people who hurt the people I cared about. And they were supposed to be your friends, too. The way things worked out... either they knew it would hurt you and did it anyway, or they didn't care enough to think about how it would affect you, only about what they wanted. Are either of them actually sorry for what they did, or just sorry it's affecting how they're being seen by you now?
[ he grimaces and shakes his head and dismissises his growing anger because NOT THE POINT AGAIN ]
But that's me. I've done a lot of stupid shit I've been forgiven for by people who are a lot better than me, so maybe this is the same thing. I don't know.
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he knows for both hanako and danny it's the latter. neither of them cared enough to think about how it would actually affect things because neither of them are that great about thinking ahead. he can't speak for hanako, but he thinks danny might actually be sorry because of some things he's talked about. even then he's not...sure.
that's what this all is. he's not sure still. so he nods softly to show he's listening, and he doesn't reply immediately. ]
I don't really know either, I guess. Maybe that's what it all comes down to. But it's not like it'll stop me from working with either of them to finish everything anyway.
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Mm. Yeah. We've got a couple of days where you have to sort of swallow it down and work as a team until that stupid moon is gone. [ Irritation at the moon and kind of feeling tired at things. the you there is Generic you, really. ] I think forgiving people is something you have to decide if you want to do or not, you can't force it. But I don't think it's necessary even with all this. Just... professional distance or whatever.
[ another flare of tired, so, deadpan: ]
The emotion thing makes it harder than it should be.
[ ....... pets nico's hair a bit in the hug like tentative ]
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