Maybe not in words. [ this doesn't surprise him. ] But...you just told me your crew still followed you and believed in you even after you were taken under Whitebeard's wing. Deuce trusted you on that island and still said yes when you asked him to stay with you. We all followed your lead when we tried to help Mika, and we've all stuck together since.
[ like. he's trying to go for frustrated, but it's bordering on the edge of disbelief instead. ]
Literally none of that would have happened if it weren't you.
I think you're giving me a little too much credit, here. [ it's said a little awkwardly, with an almost laugh as he maybe uses the hat to shadow his face ] Datz helped, and Reigen came up with the plan.
[ i hate nico di angelo because he hears this, and he considers it for a moment before he thinks maybe he really is placing too much emphasis on things and his way of thinking is actually blowing things out of proportion and he's just seeing what he wants to see. so he goes quiet again, settling for a small nod.
yeah. group effort. that does make sense to him, even if he'd argue that he might not have said yes so immediately if ace hadn't told him about it before, hours before he got a text about what the plan was. even if he'd argue that he likes datz and reigen fine, but he hasn't always felt as comfortable around them as he does with ace. even if he'd argue that ace probably knows more than most people and it's why nico trusts him in the first place.
...we had to find answers to what was happening to the town. So we split up. Reigen went to the post office, and we went to the neighborhood to find Chiemi's house. But we ran into a lot of the neighbors...including you. All of them were going about their normal lives, minding their business, but you were chained to your house. We...wanted to help, but you wouldn't let us, at first. All we had at the time was a shovel, but we were trying to break the chains and...
[ here, he pauses. ]
In that town, people who rebelled or people who didn't meet the demands of the director were taken to the museum. Their mouths were sewn shut, and they were forced to be good neighbors and not cause trouble. It happened to the others, and it must have happened to you.
[ when nico looks closer, looking for anything that would stop them, he can get a little better of a look at the goat. what he sees is ace's mouth has been sewn shut. and then there's a wisp of smoke that creeps out of ace's mouth. and another. and another, and another, and there's a noise that comes from ace's throat that sounds like a scream that can't quite make it out of his mouth. ]
We kept trying, but...something happened, because the chain cracked and suddenly you were you. And you weren't. It was...half you and half a goat and we didn't know what to do and all it was doing was hurting you until we stopped trying to free you. And all you could do was smile and try to say it was fine because why wouldn't you reassure us when you're the one who was in trouble? We had to leave and you went back to your house and the chains kept you there. Everyone else had run away. There wasn't anything else we could do.
[ keep going. you can't save this one, not this time. doesn't that happen a lot? isn't it terrible how you can just never be in the right place at the right time? how you just lose people over and over? you learn to love them so much, and then they're gone. or worse.
"I didn't know him for that long, but it was still enough to know he would've done anything for me. And I couldn't even be there to help and try to save him in the end."
he had meant someone else, before, when he had said this to ace. but it really did just follow the pattern of life, didn't it? ]
[ he listens, quiet, even though it's a lot and even though it sounds really fucked up, and at the end of it he's nudging nico again. ]
Hey. That wasn't me. I'm okay. [ he knows nico knows that now, but just. repeating it. and the following probably won't help, not even a little bit, but it's something that struck ace; ] If it had been, with those kind of options, I'd have asked you to kill me.
[ fucked up thing to say, definitely, but he says it like it's a fact, which actually makes that more fucked up. ]
Well, I probably would've told you guys to go first, though. [ aGAIN UNHELPFUL but ] You don't have to feel guilty about that.
[ it's a fucked up thing to say, but at the same time he seems to rationalize that it makes sense for who ace is as a person. nevertheless... ]
You did tell us to go. Multiple times. [ he tries for a kicky but he winces because owie. ] Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't feel guilty about.
Don't hurt yourself, stupid. [ he says that but moves closer so nico can just hit him if he wants ] I can if you've got nothing to feel guilty about. Even if it had been real. It's not like you left because you wanted to.
[ he makes a face, but he still looks conflicted about it. ]
...I know the whole thing wasn't real. I knew that from the start. But all of it just kind of did a fantastic job reminding us of all of the times it was real. And how real it could be later.
it's touch week, but nico is. injured still, so ace's touch to his arm is brief ]
There's going to be people we can't save. There already have been. [ here, and back home too, for both of them. ] Won't do you any good to worry about it in advance. If this is the only time you get with people--you have to make the most of it. [ he knows it's not something easy to ignore either, though. ]
[ it is touch week, and so he allows this without shying away. also he probably would regardless because it's ace. and because it's ace, he figures...he can elaborate, even if he's looking at his own hands instead. ]
I know. [ softly. ] I'm tired of losing people, but there's always going to be people I can lose. No matter what I try. So I want the time to count even if it could hurt. [ ... ] It's sort of what I thought while we were there, too. If the only time I could get with certain people existed, I may as well take it. Even if it wasn't real. I shouldn't have lingered around because I knew the people we were seeing weren't really there, she's been gone for years, but...I still wanted it.
Bianca. [ so no, ace is correct. ] She chose rebirth a few years ago, so I already knew it wasn't real. But I still decided to waste time talking to her anyway. She had a clothing shop in that village. Or at least that's what it looked like? When our vision cleared, it was just where they were keeping the dead...people who were in a similar situation you were. Half-person, half-animal.
[ he nods. going to ignore the fucked up store with dead people part for now ]
Maybe it was a waste of time, but... I'd probably have done the same thing, for a chance to talk to my brother again. [ even if he'd know it would never be real because sabo is super dead 100% never coming back ]
It wasn't real, but I thought "what if?" anyway. Reigen tried to warn me about what happened with Mob, but I wasn't really listening. And maybe if I had, or if we had left when we didn't find Norma's ghost that we had followed, we could have avoided a lot of things. [ there's a brief gesture to his face where the claw marks are bandaged now. ] I held her off for a little after, but it meant I wasn't watching behind me.
...Will's dad was still alive. He tried to grab Will, but Reigen...kinda crushed his skull with his foot and I splintered his arm from the rest of his body. [ will came out with a hand around his ankle because nico panicked. ] Apollo bit Reigen and we couldn't get the hand off no matter how we tried, so we ran before anything else could chase us. I had to leave her tied to a wall, no longer in control of herself even as the seams around her mouth burst and she kept screaming after me.
but also yeah! sure does. he's still not looking at ace because it's easier! this is also why he does not realize his nose is starting to bleed black slowly. he'll notice eventually. ]
She called me a monster as I left her behind, so no. I suppose not. And Apollo...[ there's a sigh to that. he's frustrated, but that's will's story for later. ] None of it was real. After that...we found another shop. Ballister's. We were able to stock up on weapons at least and that sort of helped. We had no idea what we were going to find in the museum, but we knew that's where we had to go. If anything at least to stop the director and stop more people from being hurt.
[ there's maybe a twitch at the monster thing. it's fine. half of their group has the same issues i think about it a lot. also nico might not notice the nose bleed but ace does and he gestures at nico's face ]
Bleeding again. [ stop that. stop bleeding. keep the blood internal where it is supposed to be ] Was the director someone you guys recognized, too?
[ yeah that's exactly what the cyoa was about, very fun. anyway yeah he blinks in surprise and looks up like he's surprised, sleeve coming up to try and stop the bleeding like a fucking heathen. ]
Sorry. [ he would like to keep his internal blood. anyway. ] No. When we got there, it was some lady none of us knew, and...a creature she was trying to control to do things for her. It was tied up with the same puppet strings that Mob and Bianca were. Reigen went to distract her, and Will and I tried to get high enough to cut the strings.
[ tilting his head back to try and make the nosebleed quit. ]
I think that's about the point everything went badly.
Ugh. [ but he takes the bandages and kind of shoves them at his face to make it stop. it means the rest of this is kind of nasally but it's fine. ]
...okay yeah, so it wasn't going great to begin with. I can admit that. [ god. ] ...Reigen was doing a pretty good job distracting the director while we tried to cut the strings. The creature didn't want to be there, but...I don't know if it trusted us either. But something happened and...suddenly there were three monsters instead of just the one.
[ he would leave it there, but...again. ace privileges. ]
It hurt. Everything just kind of came flooding back, and it hurt, and changing into a form like that sort of felt like being flattened under a thirty-foot building while being lit on fire and drowning underwater. But it was nothing compared to the thoughts that came with it, but...I guess those were familiar, too? It was kind of like being ourselves and not. [ a pause. ] And changing meant that I dropped the pipebomb on Reigen and the director so that didn't help.
... Reigen told me, a little. [ [reigen voice] i'm doxxing the children's trauma ] You, Will and "Nimona". Right?
[ he's frowning at nico in concern. but also. hm ]
Pipebomb's not the best choice for a weapon when you're inside a building, you know. [ it's light in tone, despite ace's expression ] So it messed with your thoughts, too?
That's right. [ if he's bothered by reigen mentioning it, his face gives no tells. ]
I didn't pick up the bomb, that was all Reigen. Will and I only had our swords but we dropped those, too. Along with the shovel, the axe and Chiemi's gun. And the vials... [ he shakes his head. ] Anyway it's...I wouldn't necessarily say it messed with my thoughts. They were still mine, in a way. Just more intensely than I've felt them in a while, and a little more harsh. But for a while it felt difficult to separate my thoughts and what she must have felt.
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[ like. he's trying to go for frustrated, but it's bordering on the edge of disbelief instead. ]
Literally none of that would have happened if it weren't you.
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[ he just. y'know. was very loud about things. ]
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yeah. group effort. that does make sense to him, even if he'd argue that he might not have said yes so immediately if ace hadn't told him about it before, hours before he got a text about what the plan was. even if he'd argue that he likes datz and reigen fine, but he hasn't always felt as comfortable around them as he does with ace. even if he'd argue that ace probably knows more than most people and it's why nico trusts him in the first place.
but you know. words. ]
Guess you can say everyone has their strengths.
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[ he stretches a bit to nudge nico a little with his foot ]
Including you, y'know. I would've gone no matter what, but I was glad having all of you at my side.
[ ace can say that kind of shit straight faced but cannot take a single compliment on himself as a person vs his skills. i am aware he's stupid. ]
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...felt dumb to let you do it on your own when we all felt the same way. [ ...and he pauses for a long, long time. ]
...I'm aware that most of what we just experienced wasn't real. But that doesn't change how much we didn't want to leave you behind.
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[ all he heard from reigen was that he was a goat he's like were you sad you had to abandon a goat ]
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...we had to find answers to what was happening to the town. So we split up. Reigen went to the post office, and we went to the neighborhood to find Chiemi's house. But we ran into a lot of the neighbors...including you. All of them were going about their normal lives, minding their business, but you were chained to your house. We...wanted to help, but you wouldn't let us, at first. All we had at the time was a shovel, but we were trying to break the chains and...
[ here, he pauses. ]
In that town, people who rebelled or people who didn't meet the demands of the director were taken to the museum. Their mouths were sewn shut, and they were forced to be good neighbors and not cause trouble. It happened to the others, and it must have happened to you.
[ when nico looks closer, looking for anything that would stop them, he can get a little better of a look at the goat. what he sees is ace's mouth has been sewn shut. and then there's a wisp of smoke that creeps out of ace's mouth. and another. and another, and another, and there's a noise that comes from ace's throat that sounds like a scream that can't quite make it out of his mouth. ]
We kept trying, but...something happened, because the chain cracked and suddenly you were you. And you weren't. It was...half you and half a goat and we didn't know what to do and all it was doing was hurting you until we stopped trying to free you. And all you could do was smile and try to say it was fine because why wouldn't you reassure us when you're the one who was in trouble? We had to leave and you went back to your house and the chains kept you there. Everyone else had run away. There wasn't anything else we could do.
[ keep going. you can't save this one, not this time. doesn't that happen a lot? isn't it terrible how you can just never be in the right place at the right time? how you just lose people over and over? you learn to love them so much, and then they're gone. or worse.
"I didn't know him for that long, but it was still enough to know he would've done anything for me. And I couldn't even be there to help and try to save him in the end."
he had meant someone else, before, when he had said this to ace. but it really did just follow the pattern of life, didn't it? ]
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Hey. That wasn't me. I'm okay. [ he knows nico knows that now, but just. repeating it. and the following probably won't help, not even a little bit, but it's something that struck ace; ] If it had been, with those kind of options, I'd have asked you to kill me.
[ fucked up thing to say, definitely, but he says it like it's a fact, which actually makes that more fucked up. ]
Well, I probably would've told you guys to go first, though. [ aGAIN UNHELPFUL but ] You don't have to feel guilty about that.
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You did tell us to go. Multiple times. [ he tries for a kicky but he winces because owie. ] Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't feel guilty about.
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...I know the whole thing wasn't real. I knew that from the start. But all of it just kind of did a fantastic job reminding us of all of the times it was real. And how real it could be later.
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it's touch week, but nico is. injured still, so ace's touch to his arm is brief ]
There's going to be people we can't save. There already have been. [ here, and back home too, for both of them. ] Won't do you any good to worry about it in advance. If this is the only time you get with people--you have to make the most of it. [ he knows it's not something easy to ignore either, though. ]
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I know. [ softly. ] I'm tired of losing people, but there's always going to be people I can lose. No matter what I try. So I want the time to count even if it could hurt. [ ... ] It's sort of what I thought while we were there, too. If the only time I could get with certain people existed, I may as well take it. Even if it wasn't real. I shouldn't have lingered around because I knew the people we were seeing weren't really there, she's been gone for years, but...I still wanted it.
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... She?
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Guess it was thematic enough, considering.
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Maybe it was a waste of time, but... I'd probably have done the same thing, for a chance to talk to my brother again. [ even if he'd know it would never be real because sabo is super dead 100% never coming back ]
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...Will's dad was still alive. He tried to grab Will, but Reigen...kinda crushed his skull with his foot and I splintered his arm from the rest of his body. [ will came out with a hand around his ankle because nico panicked. ] Apollo bit Reigen and we couldn't get the hand off no matter how we tried, so we ran before anything else could chase us. I had to leave her tied to a wall, no longer in control of herself even as the seams around her mouth burst and she kept screaming after me.
[ which is very fun. ]
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Explains the hand. [ first. important. he was wondering, a little. ] Whatever was controlling what you guys saw wasn't pulling their punches, huh?
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but also yeah! sure does. he's still not looking at ace because it's easier! this is also why he does not realize his nose is starting to bleed black slowly. he'll notice eventually. ]
She called me a monster as I left her behind, so no. I suppose not. And Apollo...[ there's a sigh to that. he's frustrated, but that's will's story for later. ] None of it was real. After that...we found another shop. Ballister's. We were able to stock up on weapons at least and that sort of helped. We had no idea what we were going to find in the museum, but we knew that's where we had to go. If anything at least to stop the director and stop more people from being hurt.
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Bleeding again. [ stop that. stop bleeding. keep the blood internal where it is supposed to be ] Was the director someone you guys recognized, too?
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Sorry. [ he would like to keep his internal blood. anyway. ] No. When we got there, it was some lady none of us knew, and...a creature she was trying to control to do things for her. It was tied up with the same puppet strings that Mob and Bianca were. Reigen went to distract her, and Will and I tried to get high enough to cut the strings.
[ tilting his head back to try and make the nosebleed quit. ]
I think that's about the point everything went badly.
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[ rummages through his pockets and finds leftover? bandages? well. it'll work. he hands it over ]
I can't say it sounded like everything was going well for you guys already. [ so that it went badly after that is... bad. ]
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...okay yeah, so it wasn't going great to begin with. I can admit that. [ god. ] ...Reigen was doing a pretty good job distracting the director while we tried to cut the strings. The creature didn't want to be there, but...I don't know if it trusted us either. But something happened and...suddenly there were three monsters instead of just the one.
[ he would leave it there, but...again. ace privileges. ]
It hurt. Everything just kind of came flooding back, and it hurt, and changing into a form like that sort of felt like being flattened under a thirty-foot building while being lit on fire and drowning underwater. But it was nothing compared to the thoughts that came with it, but...I guess those were familiar, too? It was kind of like being ourselves and not. [ a pause. ] And changing meant that I dropped the pipebomb on Reigen and the director so that didn't help.
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[ he's frowning at nico in concern. but also. hm ]
Pipebomb's not the best choice for a weapon when you're inside a building, you know. [ it's light in tone, despite ace's expression ] So it messed with your thoughts, too?
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I didn't pick up the bomb, that was all Reigen. Will and I only had our swords but we dropped those, too. Along with the shovel, the axe and Chiemi's gun. And the vials... [ he shakes his head. ] Anyway it's...I wouldn't necessarily say it messed with my thoughts. They were still mine, in a way. Just more intensely than I've felt them in a while, and a little more harsh. But for a while it felt difficult to separate my thoughts and what she must have felt.
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